again. No matter how good his voice was, or how it slipped into my ribs and tickled a piece of me it never should have, I wouldn't falter.
He parted his lips, but I didn't look. “In the black, you walk with me. In the black,” he croaked, “You never see. Walk away and you won't bleed, walk away and I am... I am freed.”
I slammed my hand down, hard music striking the brief silence. Together, we all crashed in unison.
“No more stars!” Drez screamed, pure power that stabbed at my core. It was a demand, he forced my eyes open. Drezden was an accident I needed to witness, even when I knew it would bring me nothing but horror.
Wild green centers found me, his face flushed, lips proud across bared teeth. The face of a man who wanted to fight, or to flee, or to fuck.
Pure energy.
He didn't even get to the second part of the chorus before I missed my notes. The sharp explosion, so off key, made Porter shout.
Drezden froze, mic hovering in front of his clenched jaw. I wasn't confused by his expression anymore. That face said 'fight' in every crease of furrowed skin.
Fucking fuck, was all I could think. I was glad I didn't accidentally blurt the words.
The last painful note faded away. Drez let his arm fall, and for a terrible second, I thought he'd just drop the mic entirely.
He strode forward, the small gap between us erasing. I didn't see his hand, I just felt him lift me. We were nose to nose, his tang of sweat filling my head. “Are you doing that on purpose?” he growled.
“No!” I coughed, scrabbling at his wrist. My toes were the only thing on the ground. Was he really that much taller than me? “No, I'm sorry! I'm just—”
“Just what?” he snapped, giving me a shake. I wished that his rage would help the flutter in my heart dissipate. Instead, I just felt a flicker of heat. The cords of his arms flexed under my nervous touch.
He's making it so hard to think! I need to get away from this, from him, I...
“Drez.” It was Colt who'd spoke, forcing himself between us. He was strong, too; all sinew and bone. The body of a swimmer, he even had a smooth scalp free of hair. I saw him glance at me, pushing me back. I fell onto the bench like I was made of wet noodles. “Leave the kid alone. She's just nervous, this is a lot of pressure.”
I'm not a fucking kid, I thought in a moment of clear rage, I'm not much younger than the rest of you! I was a bundle of tremors. Never, ever, had a man dared to do to me what Drezden had. I'd been in actual bloody fights, but they'd never left me as drained as this.
The way the singer snorted, sneering at me in derision, turned my belly to ice. “Nerves? That's no problem, then! It isn't like she'll have to perform in front of a giant fucking crowd in a day or anything!”
“Calm down,” Porter said from the corner. Looking up, I saw how the bigger man was staring at me. Dark brown eyes, full of pity.
I hated that.
Rubbing my forehead, then my neck, I made myself stand. I hoped they didn't see my knees shaking. “I'm fine. Colt is right, it's just nerves. I'll get over it, I just need to keep practicing.”
“Yeah, you're going to keep practicing,” Drez said. He showed me his wide back, hands digging something from his pocket. “I'm going to go have a smoke. Play without me.”
“Drez—” Porter started, but it was too late. We all watched the singer push from the room, stomping further into the tour bus. Sighing, Porter looked at me again. The pity was gone. The sympathy wasn't much better. “Sorry about that. Drez isn't the most patient guy.”
I shook my head, touching my chest gently. My heart is easing up, finally. Why the hell was I so worked up that I couldn't play? It had to be the nearness of someone as famous as Drezden, it had to be. “It's alright. He's not wrong, I need to keep practicing. Can we try No More Stars again?”
I wanted to do something with my hands. They itched to feel something.
Or someone.
“Yeah,” Colt said, moving back to his drums. “Fuck Drez, we'll play without him for now.”
My smile was weak, but it was there. Hearing their casual rebuking of their leader