Road to Redemption - Michelle Dalton Page 0,25

his neck and tightened, making it hard to breathe let alone speak as he balled his fists on his hips. “You’re right. I threw you away like a cheap rag. What you don’t know is that I had to!” He paused and allowed his confession to sink in. “I was young, stupid, and more than anything, I was so in love that yes, when things got heavy I didn’t know who to turn to and did what I thought was best. I protected you. It cost me my soul, but I’d never had risked your safety because of others’ hatred. As for our daughter …” He waved a shaky index finger between them. “… if I’d known, I would have swallowed my fear and faced my pa. I would have sent those pieces of shit in my team to hell.”

Ray plopped back into the chair. Confessions were exhausting and this one had cost him every ounce of energy he had.

Silence blanketed the room and Ray looked up to find Mina, face ashen, lips trembling, tears trickling from her eyes.

“You are not allowed to hurt me like this anymore. If I could, I’d have you removed from the program …”

God she did want to boot him off, and there was nothing he could do to stop her, “Then why don’t you, Mina? You owe me nothing. After all these years, you’ve done more with your life than you probably would have at my side. Kick me from the program. I am done.” With effort, Ray stood once more and turned toward the door.

“I’d never take away your second chance, Ray. Like every other man who comes here, you deserve that much.”

Ray didn’t look back, couldn’t.

“And does that second chance not include getting to know my daughter?”

Her gasp broke the broken pieces of his heart further.

He craved a hit more than the air he breathed. He was too weak to not love her and too stubborn to say so. Instead, he left her office and returned to work making sure he volunteered for the hardest, dirtiest labour there was to find.

Mina fell into a weeping bundle on her chair. Curling her legs up beneath her bum and wrapping her arms around her knees, she buried her head and sobbed. She sobbed for the young Mina, whose life had been obliterated because of the hatred of others. She sobbed for all the years her daughter had lived without her father and she sobbed for the unconditional truth Ray had proffered.

God damn it all!

Damn fate, and damn her heart.

She’d never stopped loving him, and now, more than ever, she knew she never would. But to allow him back into her life, Lullu’s life … no, that would be a mistake—one she wasn’t willing to make a second time.

8

“Ray, I do think you may be a little dramatic.” Vestra, her dreads wrapped in a ball on top of her head, shifted in her chair, uncrossing her left leg and crossing her right. She lay her ebony gaze on Ray.

“How so?” He didn’t mean to sound cocky, but did this woman have any idea what it felt like to claw oneself out of a dark shit-filled pit?

“Look I understand where you’re coming from,” she said knowingly.

“Now you’re a mind reader?” Ray shifted uncomfortably.

Initially, he’d been grateful for the one-on-ones, but as time passed and Vestra dug her psychoanalytic nails into him, Ray was second guessing his decision.

Vestra sighed and placed her notepad and pen on the table beside her.

She uncrossed her long legs and leaned with her elbows on her knees. “No, but I do recognise a soul who’s trying to find the light. I didn’t simply finish school and decide to become a counsellor, Ray. Life made sure I had my own little taste of its darker side before it showed me my way. It’s not easy; you’re right. But is anything that comes easily in life truly worth having?”

Ray digested her words as he turned his gaze toward the window. It was a shitty day outside. The wind could blow the hair off a dog’s arse, and a storm was racing toward them off an angry ocean.

“Look, I’ll be frank. I’ve known Mina for a long time. I know of both your pasts, together and apart. I also know that sooner rather than later, you will both have to sit down and face this past together. I want you to know, I’ll be there for you.”

Ray returned his gaze to Vestra and swallowed hard.