The Rivals - Dylan Allen Page 0,207

both where life intended us to be. And every time I think about my baby, I feel so much love that I know it alone can sustain me. I’ve got my dream job. I’m living the happily ever after I never thought I’d have. So, why does it feel so hollow?

When the church doors open and Remi and Regan stepped onto that carpet, I had known for a fact that this had been a mistake. I should have stayed at the hotel. Being here with Paul only exacerbated the feeling of “wrong” that has settled on my shoulders like a cape. I don’t love Paul. I don’t think I ever could – at least not the way I think. Because that belongs to someone else.

Now, the party is in full swing. Paul and I are seated at the table farthest away from the bride, groom, and bridal family. I’ve watched Remi lead his sister in the traditional father-daughter dance. All of that young charm has morphed into a mature charisma that makes everyone smile as he walks by. He’s the most handsome man in the room. His hair is closely cropped, the strength of his jaw is magnified by his short, immaculately groomed beard.

I wish he was mine.

“You want another Shirley Temple?” Paul asks and I give him a wan smile and nod. “And a glass of water, too, please.”

“Be right back. There’s an open bar, so I’m going to get another one of these.” He jiggles his empty lowball glass. I bite my tongue against the warning that he’s drinking too much because the last thing I want is to have a fight with him.

“Hey, friend. Can I have this dance?”

I freeze in my seat. It’s Remi.

I turn and take him in. He looks like a tall glass of ice water in the middle of a sandstorm. His tuxedo is cut to fit, and fit, it does. So very, very well.

“Uh… hey, sure” I say and find my words are more of a sigh than anything else because I’m struggling to breathe. My heart is hammering in my chest.

“You look incredible in that dress,” he says and looks me up and down. I flush and run a self-conscious hand over my hair which I had blown out and flat ironed for today. October is the one month a girl with a head full of natural curls can get away with a style like this in Houston, so I went down to the hotel’s salon on a whim.

“Let’s dance. Come on.”

He sticks his hand out and I take it.

“Okay.”

We’re on the dance floor in a few steps. Remi’s arm goes around my waist and he draws me into him in one fluid motion. I swear, my insides are melting.

“Kal,” he whispers my name in my ear and there’s an urgency in his voice.

“Mm-hmm.” Because my tongue is tied.

“I’m drunk,” he confesses.

“You don’t drink,” I chide him.

“It’s the only way I would have survived Regan’s pre-divorce party,” he whispers and I giggle.

“Don’t say that.”

“Just telling it like it is. And I don’t want to talk about her.”

“Okay.” I let him twirl us around. Then I lean back and look him in the eye.

“You having a good time?”

“Fuck no.”

“Why? You have a headache from the drinks already?”

“Nope. The only thing that hurts is this.” He takes my hand and lays it on his chest. I can feel the beat of his heart against my palm and gasp.

“Remi.” I pull my hand away.

“Doesn’t yours? I could have sworn you loved me, too.”

My heart stops.

“You loved me?”

“Love. Present tense.”

I shake my head in denial.

“I should have told you then.” He pulls me to him and presses his lips to my ear. On the crowded dance floor, it feels like we’re alone.

“You were everything I wanted before I even knew I wanted it, Kal. You made me wonder and think and you changed my life in ways I can’t quantify.”

My heart thuds against his chest and I can feel the vibration of it throughout my whole body.

“Do you ever wonder what if?” he whispers and my heart starts to crack.

“Every day,” I admit, on a whisper.

“Do you know I think about you when I’m with her. When I kiss her, sometimes I taste you.”

My heart cracks in a way I feel to my bones.

“Me, too,” I admit.

“Is this okay? For us to feel this way and let each other go?” he asks the question I think I’ll ask myself for the rest of my life.