The Rivals - Dylan Allen Page 0,205

hand over my still flat stomach.

He lets go of my wrist. The light in his eyes cool and he drops his head, and shakes it.

When he looks up at me again his eyes are clear. Like he’s dropped a mask over the raging emotions that had nearly drowned us a few minutes ago.

“I know. I’m sorry. That’s not the man I was raised to be.”

Hearing him say he’s sorry, even though I know I should be too, stings.

“It’s just seeing you… just everything makes me forget myself.”

“It’s okay. Nostalgia and all.” I say lamely.

“And, I know how much you like kissing me.” He winks and flashes me a grin. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes, but I can see he’s trying. So I smile back. And when I do, he nods his head as if accepting something and stands up.

“So... friends?” he asks and watches me

“We’ve always been. And will always be.”

When I leave thirty minutes later, I feel better. I have Remi back in my life and I’ve made the right choice. I’m going to be somebody’s mother. Someone who didn’t ask to be born and I want to do right by him or her. I won’t put a child through what I went through. Not even if it means having to settle for friendship with the man I love.

Chapter 19

THE WEDDING

REMI

* * *

“What are you two doing?” my mother thunders as she bursts into the small vestibule where Regan and I are huddled.

I don’t look at her. I’ve had about as much of her shit as I can take this week. And after this morning with Kal, I’m about as raw as an open wound.

“Mother—I’m just not sure.” Regan pleads. I want to tell her to save her breath.

“Well, that baby in your belly says at some point you were very sure. You’ll be sure again. You will not embarrass your family this way.”

“Remi says—”

“Remi,” my mother infuses my name with caustic dismissal, “doesn’t know the first thing about a relationship or marriage. He’s the very last person you should be taking advice from.”

I’m not even mad. She’s right. But I won’t let her act like she knows any better.

“As opposed to you and your long, successful marriage?”

“Your father died, Remi.”

“Nice of you to remember that today. Most days you act like he ran off to join the circus.”

“Your disrespectful tone and subversive efforts will not be tolerated today.” She glares at me and stomps over to where we’re sitting and looks down her nose at Regan.

“You’ve got two hundred and fifty family members and friends waiting in that chapel. Marcel Landel is standing at the end of an aisle waiting to marry you. Despite your shameless antics and your hysterics two days ago, he’s there. You should be on your knees thanking your lucky stars that he’ll still have you. Instead, you’re here with your brother hatching whatever harebrained scheme you can think of to get out of doing what is right.”

“Mother, I am not. I know Marcel is a great man. I know I’m lucky. But I don’t love him,” Regan pleads.

My mother grabs Regan’s chin and yanks her face upward.

“Do you think that matters? He’s a good man. You’re clearly attracted to him.” She shoots a glance at the small swell of Regan’s belly. “He’s got money and most importantly you’re carrying his child. You must not soil our name with illegitimacy. You will not. Now, get up.”

She turns and walks out of the room.

Regan shoots me a helpless glance and stands. I grab her hand and pull her back down to her seat. I lean forward and hold her gaze. This is my twin, we may be as different as the sunrise and the sunset, but she’s still my true other half and I want more for her than marriage for expediency.

“Reggie, you don’t have to do anything. If you don’t want to marry him, I will walk you out of here and I’ll explain it to him. He’s a reasonable man. A good man. But that doesn’t mean you have to spend the rest of your life with him.”

My mother spins on her heels and marches back toward where I’m sitting. She stands toe to toe with me looking upon me with the anger that so often clouds our interactions. Our relationship has deteriorated to the point that we only speak to each other when we need to. I keep the things I care about out of her reach.

“You are not the head