The Rivals - Dylan Allen Page 0,188

de la créme of teenagers in Rivers Wilde… I stare out at the sea of mocking, smug faces. God how I wish those fucking fairy tales were true and that I could count on a fairy godmother, the click of my heels, or a white knight to come and rescue me.

What made me think I would ever fit into their world? I almost laugh when I take in their expertly made-up faces. I’ve got on a swipe of lip gloss I bought in the 99 cent basket at Walgreens.

They’re real princesses. Tonight, I was just playing one.

“I’m leaving,” I say stiffly and then, turn on the bare ball of my foot and start walking down the hall.

When I hear Remi’s hurried footfalls behind me and I turn around with my arm out in front of me to stop him. The expression in his eyes breaks something inside of me and I can’t hold my tears anymore. The flow freely down my cheeks

“Baby don’t cry, I’m so—”

“Please don’t make a scene. I don’t want to give people any other reason to talk about me.” I try to wipe them away.

“It doesn’t matter what they say. They’re not important. Let me talk to you.” He steps up to me and tries to hug me.

I stiffen in horror and yank my body away.

“It matters to me.” I point at my chest. “I wish you’d left for college without me finding out that all of this has been a lie.”

“It wasn’t a lie,” he says from where he’s standing. His expression is pained, and he’s clutching his sides like he’s got a runner’s cramp.

“It doesn’t matter what it was. It’s a lie now.”

“No, it’s not. Can we just go somewhere and talk?” He has the nerve to look frustrated.

“Are you kidding?” I would laugh if I could push it past the lump in my throat. “Your mother went to a lot of trouble to set this up. I don’t think she’s going to sit quietly while you go anywhere with me. I just want to leave the way I came.”

His eyes fill with a sadness that breaks my heart. I can see he’s sorry he hurt me. He hugs me and this time, I let him because I know I’ll miss these hugs. No one in my whole life has ever hugged me like this. God it hurts.

“Please. Let me go,” I ask as coherently as my hurt will let me.

“Not like this.” He holds me tighter. I squirm now because if I don’t get away, he’ll have his way. I won’t let him make a fool of me again.

“Let me go. Or do you want to take what’s left of my dignity, too?” I say in a scathing tone, just loud enough for him to hear.

It does the trick.

His shoulders slump a little and he loosens his hold. “I’m so sorry. I don’t want that. I just—can I come see you tomorrow? Please.” He sounds so defeated and so desperate. I hate myself for caring. I need to get away from him.

I nod.

But, only so he’ll let me leave.

With his assurance that he won’t follow me, I turn and walk back into the ballroom. The ground is cold and wet in places. But I’d walk over burning coals before I put those shoes back on.

My dress is long enough. So no one who looks at me can tell that I left my shoes and my heart on the floor at Remi’s feet.

I see my mother from across the room. She’s staring blankly at the dancefloor. Her arms are wrapped around her waist like she’s cold. “Can we leave?” I ask her as soon as I’m standing next to her.

She turns, and her face is pale. She looks like she’s seen a ghost. And when she looks at me, it’s like she’s looking right through me instead.

I don’t even need to ask to know that Mrs. Wilde has had her way with her as well. She attempts a smile, but her lips don’t quite make it. She takes my hand, presses a kiss to the back of it and says, “Yes, sweetheart. I’ve had enough. Let’s go.”

This time, when we leave the Wilde house, we walk out of the door we walked in through.

This time, I don’t look back to see who’s watching.

This time, it doesn’t matter.

KAL

“Lee, wake up.”

My eyes pop open at the sound of my mother’s hushed voice. She’s standing next to my bed, a sad smile on her face.

“You always were