Risking It All (Kingston Brothers #4) - Isabel Lucero Page 0,2
go home.”
Ali quickly stands up. “Sorry, Elijah.”
My brother doesn’t say anything, he just steps to the side and lets Ali walk through the house.
I wait for him to start yelling and listing my punishments, but he just stands there and watches me. His anger quickly settles into something else. Disappointment? Concern?
“Go to your room, Merrick,” he says with a sigh.
I stand up and slowly lift my head to meet his gaze. He puts his hand on my shoulder, and I suddenly want to break down and cry and tell him everything. But I don’t. I just walk past him and go to my room.
2
Merrick
Present Day
It’s been almost five years since I transitioned from unknown to world renowned. Music has been a huge part of my life for so long.
I remember my parents listening to music, but I couldn’t tell you the names of the artists. I just know my mom liked having music on in the kitchen when she was cooking, and my dad played music both in the car and in his den. I was only eleven when they died, and I wish I remembered more of what they were into.
After their deaths, and as I grew into a teenager, I would lock myself in my room and blast a mix of heavy metal, punk rock, and alternative rock. I taught myself how to play guitar and started to create music.
Befriending Jay, Skyler, and Carlos in school was my saving grace. We were all musically inclined, and I started to focus my anger and pain into creating music with them. It started out as a hobby, something we could do after school and on the weekends.
When people started taking interest in us after we’d perform for talent shows, we started performing locally at any event that would take us. We quickly realized people loved us and wanted to hear our music. They’d ask when we would be performing again so they could show up. We knew we had the potential to be something, but we had no idea just how popular we’d eventually become.
My parents will never see me perform. They’ll never know I made it big and was able to see the world all before the age of thirty. Then again, if they hadn’t died, maybe I’d never have picked up a guitar to keep me from crying. Maybe I wouldn’t have spent so much time in the garage with my bandmates trying to make music, because I would have been with them instead.
It’s hard thinking about that. If my parents had lived, it’s possible I wouldn’t have the life I have now. But honestly, though I only have about six or seven years’ worth of memories with them, I’d choose them over this life in a heartbeat.
My brothers are amazing. They love and support me like crazy, but sometimes you want your mom and dad around for certain things.
While I wish they could see what I became, sometimes I wonder if it’s better that they can’t. Perhaps it’s best that they don’t know about things I’ve done or who I really am.
Would they be proud of my accomplishments? I have no doubt about it. But would they accept me if they knew I was gay? I don’t know. I don’t even know if I accept me. How can I when all I’ve done is lie to myself and the people closest to me?
My brothers don’t know. My bandmates don’t either. Only one person besides myself knows, and I’m pretty sure he hates me.
So, yes, I’m rich and famous. I have the life people dream about. But am I happy? Not really. Not completely.
This tour is coming to an end in a month. We’re finally going to be able to go home to our families or take a vacation to an island in the middle of nowhere. Sky’s doing the latter.
I’m going home. I’m gonna see my brothers, visit some old friends, and try to get the guy who knows my deepest and darkest secret to forgive me.
I’ve been in the tabloids and splashed across internet articles with a different woman in every city. Why? Because that’s what you want the world to see when you’re living a lie. You show everyone what you’re not.
I’m a liar, and I don’t know how I’ll begin to set things straight. No pun intended. I want to live life honestly. I want to be myself one hundred percent, because it’s extremely hard to be happy when you’re constantly putting on a