The Ringmaster (Harrow Faire #4) - Kathryn Ann Kingsley Page 0,76
normal. That this place was a monster. That she had been turned into a monster. She walked the grounds of the circus for a half hour before she came to the lake. A shadow at the end of the pier caught her attention. Barely visible against the always-somehow-creepily-lit inverted forest. The red light of a cigarette glowed occasionally. She walked down the pier. It was Jack.
He glanced over his shoulder at her and smiled. He really was a handsome man. He was that good, old-fashioned, 1940s kind of handsome that people always wanted to aspire to. “Hey, Cora.”
“Hey, Jack.”
“Want to join me?” He motioned to the spot on the end of the pier.
“I don’t want to bother you. I was just curious who was out here.”
“Nah. Company might be nice. Might get me out of my head.”
She understood the sentiment. She walked to the end of the pier and sat on the edge of it, dangling her feet over the wood lip. She had sat here with Clown once before. She hoped this went better than that did.
They sat in silence for a long time before he finally broke it. “Can’t sleep again?”
“No.”
“What’s wrong?”
She looked down at her hands and picked at the cuff of her coat. “It’s this business with Clown. That’s all.” It was true. It wasn’t the whole truth, but “this whole business with Clown” could sum up a whole lot in one breath.
“Ain’t your fault what happened to you.” He took a drag on his cigarette. “Ain’t none of our faults what’s happened to us.”
The statement hung in the air like a dark cloud. Cora shut her eyes and forced herself to face it. “I’m sorry about what happened to you. With your mother and all.”
“It ruined my life. But then I came here and got a new one. I guess. All by Mr. Harrow’s design.”
Right. He didn’t know. She looked out at the darkness of the lake. It was visible in the same way the trees were visible. Just that eerie, always-there illumination that came from nowhere in particular. “Jack…can I tell you something?”
“Of course.”
“Like, secretly.”
“Yeah.” He turned to her. “You can trust me.”
“Not even Aaron.” She shot him a look.
He chuckled. “Not even Aaron.”
She looked back out at the lake. “Harrow Faire talks to me now. Clown was linked to the Faire. That’s how he could…take people’s seity. That’s how he could kill Family members. Not because he was the aspect of death, or whatever. And Clown died because he gave that link to me.”
Jack was silent for a long time. “Shit.”
She laughed. “Yeah. That sums it up.”
“What does it tell you?”
“A lot of weird things.” She shut her eyes and lay back on the pier. She didn’t want to look up at the void overhead. She wished there were stars. “But it told me that if I weren’t here, if it hadn’t taken me, I would have killed myself in ten years. I would have lost the fight to the pain and sadness of my life, and I would have eaten the end of my pistol.”
He stayed silent.
“The Faire also told me that if Simon hadn’t been taken, he would have murdered his fiancée and children, and started some weird…blood cult. That he would have left a terrible mark on this world. The Faire takes people who it thinks could have a better life in here than out there.”
“What does it think I would have done with my life? Or my mother?”
“I have no clue.” She sighed. “I can ask it, if you want to know, next time I talk to it.”
“No. No. I think I’m happier not knowing. Shit, Cora. That’s…that’s a lot. You’ve been carrying that around with you the whole time since Clown died?”
“Yeah. Simon knows. Ringmaster knows. That’s it.” She looked back to Jack. He was staring down at his cigarette.
“You trust Simon?”
“I mean…yes and no. I do, but I know he could turn on me at any moment. Intentionally or unintentionally.” She folded her arms behind her head. “He’s honest with me about that.”
“Has he lost his mind around you? Had one of his fits?”
“Yeah.”
Jack shot her a look. “And you’re still with him?”
She chuckled and sat back up, turning so that she could put a post to her back and face him. “It’s not so bad with me. He takes out his violence in a different way with me than I think he does with you.” She snickered. “I hope, anyway.”