constant in my life as both my mother and father rotated through spouses as frequently as they changed socks.
“I’ll be on set with you. If you feel stressed, or if you feel yourself slipping, let me know. You have to know you’re going to have very little privacy on location. I have to have full access to where we’re staying for the duration and to your trailer on set. I know it’s invasive and uncomfortable, but that’s part of making sure you stay on the straight and narrow. Plus, Maren put similar conditions in that damn contract. Don’t forget you have to submit to random drug testing throughout the duration of the shoot. She has the right to request an outside source come in and do an independent search of your lodging and belongings if she suspects you’re using again. She really didn’t leave anything to chance when she agreed to work with you again.”
It was my turn to laugh, only mine was a touch bitter and missing humor. “She’s a big fan of contracts.”
“What?” Jeno gave me a confused look as I pulled up to my grandmother’s big, adobe house.
I waved the statement away, not wanting to explain that the only reason Maren let me into her bedroom and her body was because I’d agreed to sign my name on a dotted line. She’d yet to give me a list of what was and wasn’t allowed, which might be why I always felt like I was flying blind with her. Before we even started, she told me there would be rules to follow, but I’d yet to get a glimpse of what they were. Even if I had any idea what they looked like, I was bound to break one or two along the way because that’s just who I was. I may have cleaned up my act for the most part, but I wasn’t a guy who colored strictly inside the lines. I never would be.
My grandmother’s long-time housekeeper let us inside and showed us to the magnificent garden that stretched out behind her home. It was her pride and joy where she spent most of her time. Back in the day, it was rumored that she and my grandfather had had some legendary parties on the estate, the kind that rivaled the infamous parties at the Playboy Mansion. My grandfather passed away during one of my first stints in rehab. In fact, when he died, I left the facility and promptly put enough poison in my veins that I was unconscious for nearly three days. I missed the old man’s funeral and broke my grandmother’s heart. It was the first time in my life she was disappointed in me. It was the only time she refused to see me, and she told me that until I was clean for a least six months, she wanted nothing to do with me. At the time, I was defiant and told her I didn’t need her, that I didn’t need anyone.
I was wrong in the worst way.
My grandmother was another person with whom I needed to make huge amends, even though she told me having me alive and doing my best to stay away from the stuff that almost killed me was all the thanks she needed. She only wanted me to live my best life, so that was what I was trying to do.
The older woman was sitting at an outdoor table with a tall glass of lemonade in front of her. There was more than likely a shot of vodka mixed in with the sweet drink, but just like Jeno, my grandma did her best not to partake of anything intoxicating when I was around.
I bent down to kiss her cheek as she patted my arm in greeting. She was a tiny woman, only reaching the middle of my chest when she was standing. She had a head of artfully styled white hair and was in considerably good health. She took better care of herself now than she had in her wild youth, and like most people in LA, she looked younger than her actual years. If she’d had work done like my mother, she never said, so I decided to believe I got my good genes from her.
“My boys. Look how handsome you both are. I’ve missed you.” Jeno bent down and kissed her other cheek as she reached up to pinch his. We tried to visit her regularly, but between getting the movie off the ground