this week. He knew he had to make a decision about the place soon, but piling a heavy task on top of his current glum existence wasn’t an exciting prospect. It would wait, right? He could give himself a pass on this.
He’d only finalized his statement about Uncle Joe and sent it to CRA yesterday. Thinking of Rhi was painful, but she’d eased a lot of his apprehension about what might come after the statement was released, at least.
“This is about Rhiannon, isn’t it?”
He clasped his hands on top of the comforter and considered saying no. What was the point? Annabelle would see right through it. “Yes.”
“What happened with her?”
The words spilled out of him, like he’d been waiting for a confidante. “She thought I told you something I didn’t.”
“About her and Peter?”
He couldn’t nod to confirm it, even though Rhi was already gone.
Aunt Belle pursed her lips. “I didn’t need you to tell me anything. I told you, I found other women who Peter hurt. The one who called me back, she’d worked at Swype around the same time as Rhiannon. She said there were rumors swirling that he was treating Rhiannon poorly.”
Samson wondered if Rhi knew there had been people at Swype who’d known Peter was the bad guy in their feud. Probably not. “Well, I knew about it and she made me promise not to tell you. I guess when she turned down your offer she came up with this scenario where I spilled the beans and refused to even give me the chance to set the record straight. Straight-up assumed I had betrayed her.”
“Her questionnaire did indicate a lot of trust issues,” Aunt Belle admitted.
“She has those in spades.” He cracked his knuckles in agitation. Samson understood when he’d exacerbated those issues, when he’d stood her up. He hadn’t done anything this time, though, damn it.
“Do you know what your test results indicate?”
“What?”
“Patience,” Aunt Belle said.
Samson looked down at his comforter. “I don’t feel patient. I’m mad at her for believing the worst about me. It was unfair. I’d never hurt her like that.” Not true. He had ghosted her, after all.
Okay, he hadn’t hurt her since they’d gotten back together, though, had he?
“Your anger is valid. Keep in mind, though, her response may seem unfair and irrational to you, but based on the very little I know, Peter traumatized her. This may all make sense within the framework of her experience.”
He exhaled, the air coming from the soles of his feet. Her words made sense, and his anger was already wavering. “I understand that. Anyway, it doesn’t really matter how I feel, at the end of the day. She doesn’t want anything to do with me.” There was the real issue. Bleh. He hated how plaintive his words and tone were.
“Have you tried contacting her?”
“I talked to her when she left the house.” When she’d run. Like a bat out of hell.
“I meant after.”
“No. Of course not.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m not going to shove myself at her when she doesn’t want me. How does that make me any better than Peter?”
Aunt Belle snorted. “There’s a very real difference between Peter harassing her for not sleeping with him and you texting her a nice, sweet explanation to try to open the channels of communication again.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know.”
Aunt Belle considered him for a long moment. “Do you know what I’ve observed about you, Samson?”
“I’m scared to ask.”
“You love so deeply. You take care of everyone.” She cocked her head. “But you haven’t cultivated a long-term relationship with anyone since, say, college or your early twenties. Why not?”
“That’s not true.”
“Isn’t it? You have your friends, but those are relationships you forged a long time ago, under very specific conditions.”
Was she right? He tried to come up with the name of one person who could prove her wrong, but couldn’t. “Rhi and me, our thing was meant to be temporary. Casual. That was what she wanted.”
“Was it what you wanted?”
“It’s all I can have.”
“Why? Why can’t you have a long-term, romantic relationship with someone? Do you prefer to sample the buffet, so to speak?”
His face burned. “No.” He’d never been a player. Hell, he’d been celibate for almost half a decade before he’d hooked up with Rhi.
“Then why?”
He squirmed, but he couldn’t get away from Aunt Belle’s probing gaze. “Because I don’t want to.”
“Interesting. Why?”
“Because.”
“Because why?” she persisted.
“Because they’ll leave me!” The words fell between them with the weight of a thousand broken hearts.