overheard me getting Gemma in the dating app scene, and he volunteered to be her practice round… but let’s just say he wasn’t satisfied with just one game.
And the rest was history.
Now, the lovebirds were just months away from their wedding, and as much as I missed my best friend having nothing but time for me, I loved Zach so much that I couldn’t even be mad.
They were meant for each other.
“Why don’t you have coffee in your hand?” Gemma asked me.
“Because I had a different wake-up call this morning. One in the form of Jordan dumping me.”
Gemma frowned. “Wait, you guys were dating?”
I slapped my forehead. “Come on, bestie. You know more than anyone that I don’t date.”
“Right… so…” Gemma might as well have had smoke coming out of her ears as she tried to figure out my dilemma, and she and Zach shared confused looks.
I sighed. “We’ve just had an arrangement, that’s all. For the last year and a half, we’ve been banging on a consistent basis. Do you know how hard it is to find an insanely hot guy who is also educated, professional, and single? And then, to find that kind of guy and him not be anxious to tie you down? He was perfect.” I pouted, flopping back in my seat. “And then he went and got himself a girlfriend.”
I mumbled under my breath, and Gemma quirked a brow. “What did you just say?”
“I said stupid potato-headed motherfucker,” I repeated.
Zach barked out a laugh. “Do all your exes get adorable pet names like that?”
“He’s not my ex,” I defended, crossing my arms. “And I didn’t realize his head looked like a potato until he was breaking up with me.”
“Convenient timing,” Zach commented.
I flicked him off.
“Hey, I’m sorry,” Gemma said sincerely, leaving Zach’s arms to wrap hers around me, instead. She rested her chin on my head as I leaned into her. “Did you tell him you didn’t want to split up?”
“No. What would the point be? He wants something serious.”
“And you don’t?” she asked. “Even after more than a year of being with him?”
“You already know the answer to that.”
Gemma sighed softly, patting my arm. Not many people in my life knew the real reasons why I blew off any kind of relationship, but Gemma was one of them. The poor girl had known me and my college ex well. We’d always hung out with her and Carlo, a little foursome, double dating all the time and being all sorts of adorable.
Gemma and Carlo got engaged right after college, and I just knew that the ring from Nathan would come next.
Instead, he dumped me.
You’re a good time, Belle, but you’re not exactly the girl you take home to Mom, if you know what I mean…
And I did. I knew exactly what he meant.
I was good for sex, for fun, for spring break and frat parties and wearing his jersey number while I screamed like a little fan girl in the stands at every single game he played. And that’s where the road ended for me.
It was a moment in my life that could have destroyed me. And, though I’d deny this to anyone who ever asked, other than Gemma — it did break me. For months, I wallowed and felt sorry for myself and tortured myself replaying every minute of my and Nathan’s relationship. I was searching for clues, for the errors I made, for what I did that was so bad that he had filed me into a category where a ring and a wedding and a little house full of babies was off the table.
But then, I had an epiphany.
What if that wasn’t the life I was supposed to live?
What if, for me, my work was my husband? What if I could have all the fun that goes along with being in a relationship — the laughter, the butterflies, the excitement of kissing for the first time, the knock-your-socks-off sex — and then… because the shoe fits… I take myself out of the picture, and continue living my kick ass life while the guy goes off and gets hitched, or whatever he decides to do?
Suddenly, being the good time girl didn’t sound so bad.
At least, that’s what I told myself.
From that moment on, I wore that badge of disgrace like it was a badge of honor, instead.
I wouldn’t be just a good time, I would the best damn time any guy I hooked up with would ever have.