the ocean is so familiar to me and instantly I feel calmer.
The sun is making its descent when I hear the door open to my right.
My body tenses, and I watch as Damian walks out on his balcony, shirt off, workout shorts hanging off his hips and running shoes on. His hair is wet from a recent shower and as he grabs for one of his T-shirts air-drying on the balcony, his back flexes and very red, deep scratch marks show themselves.
I want to run back inside. Not having noticed I am out here, Damian busies himself tidying up his place, but an abrupt turn lands his eyes on mine and like a punch to the gut, I’m breathless.
His face softens, and his lips curl up in a genuine smile. “I didn’t realize you were out here.” Damian pulls his shirt over his head, wincing as the material hits his back.
I watch him, not sure what to say or how to begin this conversation.
“You feeling okay, Addison?” he asks as he moves closer. Forgetting about the rail that separates our two balconies, he runs right into it.
“Better than this morning, but still not back to normal.”
A small smile hits his lips. “Give it a few days, you were pretty plowed.”
Internally laughing at how true that statement is, I ignore his comment.
“I’m on my way to meet Reed for a workout. I’d ask if you want to join, but you’re looking pretty content.”
My eyes sink. “I don’t think I’ll be able to hit the track for few days, my body feels like it’s been run over by a truck.”
He frowns, and his head tilts to the side as he studies me. “Can I come see you when I get back tonight? I think we have some things to discuss.”
I shake my head. “There’s nothing to discuss Damian. It happened and it’s not going to happen again. I think we both know it was a huge mistake.” I want to take the words back the minute they leave my lips. His eyes cloud with confusion and instantly fill with hurt. He’d said he wanted all of me and I told him I could handle it. Clearly, I was wrong.
“A mistake,” he repeats, his face turning into a cold hard mask.
With every ounce of energy I have, I face him and slightly nod, wondering if I just made an even bigger one.
He lets out a humorless laugh, turns and leaves.
Every window in my car is open, the air hitting me in the face as I drive to the Santa Barbara City College track to meet Reed.
A mistake.
How the fuck can she think last night was a mistake? She’s lying through her perfect swollen lips, and I have scratch marks down my back to prove it.
Her skin, her taste, her lips, fuck, those sexy lips that drove me wild while her eyes stayed locked onto mine. I’m getting hard at the memory.
I thought I’d made it clear that I don’t do mistakes; that one night is not on my agenda. Now, knowing what she feels like, there’s no way that was a one-time deal. She is going to tell me whatever warped reason she has for thinking we were a mistake last night. If my foggy memory serves me correct, last night was the first right thing that has happened to me in a long time, drunk or not.
Reed is waiting for me when I pull into the parking lot.
“Dude, you look like shit. What the hell happened to you?” He unzips his sweatshirt revealing a T-shirt that says “Time for a good ass-kicking. Yours, not mine.”
“A peacock invaded my life, Reed. That’s what happened to me.” Bending down to stretch my hamstrings, I miss the initial look of shock on Reed’s face.
“Damian, are you hell-bent on ruining your own life? She lives next fucking door to you!”
I stand up and take a defensive stance with my arms folded across my midsection. “How in the hell will that ruin my life?”
He walks towards me and stops inches from my face, his hands resting on his hips. “Because Dude, she doesn’t know what she wants, and you’re not exactly whole. What if she goes back to that douche of an ex? What then? You have a little girl who needs you pretty fucking bad, what are you doing messing with a girl who may not choose you?”
I’d trusted Reed with that information about Addison and her ex, and he just threw it back in my