front and center on my mind. The fact that you were there . . . my insides shouted at me, ‘Here’s your second chance, don’t fuck up again.’ I don’t love Helen, and I never did. If you believe anything, please believe that.”
For a second, emotions I’ve tried hard to tamp down rise up, and I do believe him. But that doesn’t mean I can trust him.
His hand slips inside my robe. Curling his fingers around my ribs, his thumb resting right under my breast, he kisses my forehead. “I don’t know how to stay away at this point, Addy.”
Opening the robe once again with his other hand, he trails a finger along the round swell of my exposed breast, his firm grip on my side not allowing me to move an inch. “Don’t push me away, Addison. Not when it’s so clear you want this too.” Gently he runs the back of his finger along the tip of my nipple and involuntarily my breath catches.
A loud knocking begins at my front door. “Green Eyes, it’s me. Open up.”
Matt’s eyes meet mine a flicker of doubt clouds them, his head tilting to the side.
Damian.
Shit. What am I doing?
This outfit, these shoes, they’re for him, and yet here I stand in the arms of a man I can’t trust, a man who left me for money. I can’t move, having no idea how I ended up in this position or how to get myself out of it. A trickle of sweat makes its way down my back as my chest begins to constrict, panic over taking my system. It starts with my breathing, or lack thereof, because I can’t breathe. Have completely stopped pulling air into my lungs. And I’m sure I’m going to vomit any second.
“Addison?” Damian knocks again.
Matt pulls me closer. “Breathe, Addy.” His hands slide up my body and he tugs me into his arms, holding me against his chest. “Breathe.” He has one palm behind my head massaging my scalp and another holding me firm to him.
I think I’m in shock; I’m practically naked, in my ex’s arms. This isn’t where I want to be. “You have to leave,” I finally croak out.
He stiffens and his massaging fingers briefly pause.
Damian knocks again.
“Clearly, I’m no expert Addison, but I don’t think you want me walking out your front door right now.”
Shit, he’s right. I hate that he’s right. I have to wait this out. No matter the consequences. I can’t allow Damian to find me in this position.
Pulling myself from Matt’s embrace I look at his hesitant eyes. “I’m going to put some clothes on.”
He nods and takes a step back.
Clearing my throat, I try to sound more confident than I feel. “Damian, I’m not feeling well. I’ll call you later,” I shout through the closed door.
“Addison,” his voice is tender, concern echoing through to my apartment. “Open the door and talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”
“I think I ate something bad, that’s all. I’ll come see you later.” Disappointed, devastated, completely lost, that about sums up how I’m feeling right now as I make Damian leave.
He sighs loud enough for me to hear, “Okay, you know where to find me.”
I take a step towards my bedroom and Matt clears his throat. The question I know he’s been dying to ask finally leaves his lips. “Are you in love with him?” I don’t turn around, only shake my head. How could I possibly be in love with a person I’ve only just kissed moments before? But the panic that overtook me at being caught with Matt is undeniable and that gives me pause. Because if I’m only looking for a casual fling, why would I care if Damian found me with Matt? And why am I suddenly so sad that Matt was the one to show up on my doorstep first?
She’s says she’s sick, but there’s an odd tilt to her voice, and I have to wonder if I scared her away, or what’s going on in that mind of hers.
That kiss . . . it was everything. Changing something in me, something between us. I’m willing to take this as slow as she needs, but now that I know what she tastes like, how her body against my own shocked my heart into a rapid and dizzying state of arousal, I’m not backing away from her.
I go into my apartment and head directly to the balcony, hoping she may be outside getting some fresh air.