“I loved him for so long, I don’t know how not to love him anymore.” She hasn’t looked at me and this is the most information she’s ever shared about herself. I know she’s an attorney, she likes to read pornographic romance novels and watch people battle it out on reality shows. She likes my body and she likes ridiculously funny mugs, but life has clearly thrown her a curve ball or two and she’s not sure how to handle it. I’m unapologetically drawn to her and even though I have an eight-year-old girl who needs me more, there has to be room in my life for Addison too.
“You find someone new to love, Addison. That’s how.”
She’s silent and I think I’ve lost her, her mind elsewhere. “Have you ever wanted to hit the restart button?” she asks.
“On life?”
Her head nods, and the sand underneath her moves in all directions.
In this moment, I know Addison and I were always supposed to meet. Whether she needs me or I need her, our lives were meant to intersect.
“Damian, you need to get your shit together. Your soccer career’s gone. Deal with it.” I want to punch Reed in the face. He just barged in my room and is opening all my blinds, the bright sunlight hitting me directly in the eyes.
“Close the fucking blinds asshole.” I can’t stand the light, would live in the dark if it were possible.
“Blinds stay open. And it reeks in here. Open a damn window every now and then.”
Throwing the covers over my face I attempt to go back to sleep.
“I’m not going to sit back and watch you piss the rest of your life away. Get off your fucking ass. We’re going to the track.”
I throw the covers back and display my crippled leg, in a splint from my hip down to my toes.
“Do your arms work?” What the hell is he asking me?
“I asked you a question. Do your arms work goddammit?”
Not answering I glare back at him.
“Get dressed. We’re leaving in ten minutes.”
This feels like the worst idea in the world. I’ve been out of the hospital nine months and while my insides are in perfect working order, I have a completely fucked up leg. The doctor says there will be minimal scarring on the outside, but the inside is a mess. I know I’ve been a pain in the ass to live with. I kicked my mom out more times than I can remember and I heard Reed promise her he’d make sure I didn’t shrivel up and die. But the track? That’s the last place I want to be headed right now.
“Get out of the car.”
“No.”
“Get out or I’m dragging you out and leaving you on the ground to fend for yourself.”
He throws my door open and tosses my crutches on the ground in front of me as he walks away. Grasping onto the sides of the car I swing my legs around and place each of my feet on the dusty black pavement. Bending down I pick up the crutches one at a time and somehow miraculously get myself to a standing position.
It’s hot, and I’m already sweating from the small exertion of getting out of the car. My muscles are weak, my mind even weaker. I make a promise to myself right then and there that I’m going to heal my broken leg. That I’m going to make it stronger than it was before the accident, for the sole purpose of kicking Reed’s ugly ass.
As I get to a fully standing position, the smell of fresh cut grass and red dirt almost makes me sick. I can’t be here, pretending my life didn’t drastically change almost a year ago. I know I need to do something with my life, but this isn’t it. This is not me. I feel like a stranger trapped in my own body and I have no idea how to fix my life.
“Stop standing there looking like you’re going to puke.”
Knowing I’m not going to win this, I follow him to the pull up bars.
“Go to the lower one and do thirty.”
Reed has been my best friend for years, and right now, I can’t figure out if I hate him or love him. But I do as I’m told. The bar is low enough that I don’t need to jump, to reach it, and since I can’t stand without support, I feel as if I’ve already won this round.