Right Move (Clean Slate Ranch #6) - A.M. Arthur Page 0,114
we were still feeling each other out. Still becoming an us that made sense.”
Annoyance crept up to overcome some of George’s fear. “How long ago did he offer?”
“Christmas Day.”
“That was almost three fucking months ago!” He hadn’t meant to yell, but what the actual fuck? Three months of sitting on this secret?
“I know, and I am so sorry. And I’m even sorrier you found this out from Shawn and not me. The only person I told was Robin, and he obviously let something slip, and that’s not an excuse. I didn’t turn my dad down flat on his offer, so I should have told you about it sooner. Especially after I said I love you. I owed you that truth and I know I broke your trust by not sharing it.”
George wanted to rage at his boyfriend for keeping something this important from him but he didn’t have the energy to do it. All he had was anger and defeat, and defeat was winning. “You didn’t tell Doug no because you’re considering it.”
“It’s my family’s legacy. I loved my time with Lucky’s. I love being on the road, on the move. But I also love you, and I love living in Garrett. I suppose I foolishly hoped all those loves could come together somehow. I didn’t want to disappoint my dad or disappoint you.”
The conflict in his heart played out all over Levi’s face, and it dimmed some of George’s anger. Not all but some. He circled the futon and sat on one end. Levi sat on the other, a long distance between them. “I think I understand why you didn’t say anything in December,” George said. “We were still feeling things out, falling in love. But these last few weeks, Levi? I didn’t expect you to keep a secret this big from me. Stuff about your past, sure, those things are private, but something that affects both of our futures?”
“You’re right.”
“I know.” George picked at seam of his jeans. “But I’m also wrong. When Shawn first let it slip, I should have said something to you about it, instead of letting it fester. You always say people shouldn’t keep things bottled up and I did that. Just like I let Orry get away with the Thanksgiving lie for weeks before I confronted him. I don’t like confrontation. It always ends badly.”
“It didn’t end badly with Orry.”
“True. I guess I keep comparing everything to my last encounter with Adrian.”
“That was a traumatic moment for you. Him attacking you.” Levi scooted a few inches closer. “But I need you to know and believe me when I say I will never be physically, verbally, or emotionally violent with you, George. Not for any reason. I’ve survived too much violence to ever want to hurt another human soul.”
George’s chest ached for the new misery in Levi’s blue eyes. A flash and gone but it had been there, and he wanted to know more. “What sort of violence?”
Levi inhaled deeply, then let the breath out slowly. “After Xander died and I quit the rodeo, I went on what I can only describe as a year-long bender. I drank heavily and for a long time. Did some drugs but alcohol was easier to find. Spent all my savings. Ended up living in my car for a while, too angry and proud to call my dad for help. When my car got impounded for unpaid tickets, I started tricking out for a place to sleep. Prostituting for alcohol money.”
Shock jolted through George’s core at that confession. Levi didn’t look ashamed of his actions, though, more resigned to the fact that they’d happened. George also didn’t know what to say so he stayed silent. Grateful to Levi for sharing these painful truths.
“It all ended when I woke up in the ER, bloody and brutalized, and I had a perforated bowel injury that they treated endoscopically, so they kept me in hospital for a few days. After I detoxed, I called Dad and he came. I went straight into rehab, and I have been sober ever since. I turned my whole life around and I stopped being angry at the world over Xander’s accidental death. I didn’t even blame Robin anymore for goading Xander into getting up on a horse for the first time. I couldn’t hate and blame and be able to move forward.”
“I’m so sorry you went through that.” George raged and ached for the pain Levi must have gone through after his attack. “Did they