with Cameron, her heart bleeding. “I see I didn’t have to come down and see if you needed anything. Shelly already made sure to take care of you.”
She shouldn’t feel hurt or betrayed, but she did. She also knew it showed all over her face. “I’ll just go back up and make sure Emma is okay.”
Cameron stood there and Marti disappeared up the steps onto the deck. Nothing for him to say or do to change things, not matter how much he wanted to. He didn’t belong to her. She’d never be his.
He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck and wondered how he managed to dig himself deeper and deeper into his own personal pile of shit.
He would never forget the pain on Marti’s face when he walked out of the cabin. He didn’t think he was capable of making someone hurt the way he’d seen Marti hurting when she saw him come out the door.
Hell, he’d spent the entire morning hard and throbbing, watching Marti in her bikini top and cutoff jean shorts helping Emma fish. She’d joked with everyone, been the perfect hostess, and kept the conversation moving from one topic to the next, engaging everyone. Thanks to her, everyone was having the time of their lives. She even included Shelly whenever possible.
Shelly didn’t make it easy. She was too busy cataloguing everything expensive on the ship, or making rude comments about Marti personally. It made him angry, but Marti let it roll right off her back.
And just how did he repay her for a great day out on her ship? He disappeared with Shelly, who tried at every turn to spoil Marti’s day, in a cabin on her ship. In the end, all her overzealous pawing and groping did was make him desperate to get away from her. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t sleep with her. Not when Marti was the only woman he wanted. Going into that room with Shelly, well, he’d crossed the line. He might as well have slapped Marti. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t hide the fact he didn’t want Shelly. Not the way he wanted her. She wanted him too, and he’d thrown it in her face she couldn’t have him. Worse, he hadn’t corrected her assumption he’d been doing the nasty with Shelly.
Why should he feel so guilty? He was engaged to Shelly. He could sleep with her if he wanted. It shouldn’t matter what Marti thought. Except it did matter. It mattered more than he wanted to admit, because he’d made a commitment and a promise, and he owed it to his children to give them the life they deserved.
He sat on the couch and looked out the window at the sea. He didn’t pay attention to Shelly coming out of the cabin on less than steady legs. He sat brooding and wishing to go back in time and not walk into the restaurant and see Shelly who looked like Caroline. He wished to erase her and start with the day he’d met Marti, only this time he would be alone when George introduced them.
Chapter Eighteen
* * *
MARTI FLEW UP the steps and out onto the deck. Jack and Sam saw the look on her face before she took control of her wild emotions. She sat with them at the table and plastered on a fake smile.
“Everything all right with Cameron?” Jack asked.
“I’m sure Shelly took good care of him.” She shook her head and waved her hand to brush away her rude statement. “How about a poker game?”
Jack and Sam exchanged identical concerned looks.
Sam sighed and shook his head in disgust. Cameron was an idiot if he couldn’t see how much Marti loved him and how good the two of them could be together. Sam thought about his own wife and how lucky he was to have her. He hoped Cameron fixed things in his life before it got worse. Sam had a sinking feeling it was going to get a lot worse before it got any better.
“Let’s play. I warn you, though, I cheat,” Sam confessed.
“You’re an FBI agent. You can’t cheat.”
“I’m an undercover agent. I’m paid to lie and cheat.” He gave her a cocky grin and winked.
He got a half smile in return and thought it better than nothing. She’d recover in a little while and be back to her old self.
Emma sat with her Uncle Jack and helped him play. They were losing badly, but Emma thought the