Ride Rough - Tessa Layne Page 0,72
her," she mumbled.
"For a little while. But then she came out to me a few years later, and that was that. But she's been the closest thing I've had to family until I moved to Prairie. And no matter what happens between us, I'll always be grateful she insisted I come here. Because being here... saved me. I've learned what it means to be a friend... and to fall in love," he added as a Hail Mary, even though it was true. "I really did sell my house in Malibu a couple weeks ago, and the other day I contacted a local realtor about a piece of property just outside of town. And last night, before you texted, I offered to become a silent partner in Jax's roughstock breeding operation."
He kissed her knuckles. He didn't know what else to say.
"Why didn't you tell me? Tell us?" she asked, eyes still tortured.
He squeezed her hands. "Because I'm a selfish bastard. I signed my first contract not long after Portia rescued me. I rocketed straight to the top. There's never been a time in my adult life where people liked me for... me." The pain that sliced through was so fresh it took his breath away. What a terrible thing to know and understand. He swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. "The way you look at me when you're about to come... I didn't want that to go away. Or the way your eyes light up when you say something utterly snarky and sassy. And the same with the guys, too. Do you think Tony would have threatened to woodshed me if he'd known I was Trace McBride?"
Her mouth lifted - the first possibility of a real smile since they'd started talking. "Maybe. Tony's not awed easily. If anything, he'd have worked harder to cut you down to size."
"My point stands. He'd have treated me differently. As Trace Walker, I was just one of the guys. And I liked it." Too much, maybe, now that they all thought he'd betrayed them. "So now what?" he asked softly after several minutes of silence.
She lifted her eyes to his, and his heart dropped to his toes. Panic rushed into the void, an ugly, shaky hollow where his heart would be if it wasn't lying smashed at his toes. His throat squeezed tight. So tight he could hardly make words.
"Please, Cecilia," he whispered. "Don't end this. Give me a chance to make this right. Let me show you how much I love you. Let me show you I'm the man for you, that we can build a life together. Please... let me love you, Cecilia," he begged. He didn't even care if he sounded desperate.
She squeezed his hands, eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "I want to, Trace," she said thickly. "Believe me."
The tiny flame of hope he'd been clinging to extinguished at her tone of voice. "But?" he filled in the word she'd left out. A giant tear spilled out of her eye and rolled down her cheek. So like the first day he'd met her, that his chest squeezed tight. So vulnerable and lost. They were so alike in that regard - two scared peas in a pod.
"I need time," she whispered.
A tiny seed of hope sprouted back to life. He could give her time. Time wasn't get lost or it's over for good. "I can do that. As much time as you need." It wasn't like he had anywhere to be.
She nodded with a sniff as another tear followed the same track as the other.
He released her hands and stood, rounding the table. Bending, he kissed the top of her head. "I love you Cecilia. I'm so sorry I hurt you, that was never my intention. You know where to find me when you're ready." She nodded, hands clutching her mug again. "One last thing. I'm bringing your vehicle back over. It's a gift with no strings attached. The title's in the glove box." He kissed the top of her head again and forced himself to walk away.
It was irrational, the stupid childish hope that she'd come running after him, but he couldn't help it. When the screen door snapped shut behind him with terrifying finality, the sound tore through him like a bullet tearing and shattering soft tissue, destroying everything on the inside before exiting his body. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he sucked in a harsh breath. And another, blinking against the brilliant morning sunshine that irritated his eyes. At