another, so when he climbed into bed with me, I shot him point blank and killed him.”
I take a step close to my brother, Kai following along right behind me.
“I lived on the streets. Days would go by where I would be so hungry, I would rummage through trash for food, not caring it was riddled with maggots and flies. I was so thin my skin was translucent, and you could count each of my ribs. Some days, I so badly just wanted to lay down in the gutter and die, and yet I couldn’t. I had to prove to myself, and to the ghost of Mama and the memory of you, that I was worth something. That one day, I would be more than just the throwaway girl. And I did. I survived; I’m loved. And now you want to come back and tie a fucking bow on it? Fuck you. You don’t get me now that I might be of use to you.” I turn and run out of the room.
It might make me a coward, but if I stayed a second longer, I would have shot him for the audacity of showing up, or myself to stop the vile voices shouting in my head.
I ignore people calling my name and disappear into one of the tunnels. I keep going even when my steps slow, and my breath burns in my lungs.
I end up on the far side of the cemetery and keep walking until I’m in the heart of the city. By now, my bare feet are bleeding, and I have a stitch that feels more like I’ve been stabbed in the side. I make my way to the penthouse as it is the closest place I can think of that I can get off the streets. I know better than to leave without protection, especially now that I’m the boss.
I make my way there and head for the elevator, hitting the button for the top floor. It isn’t until I’m in the hallway that I remember I don’t have my bag or the key to get in.
Sighing, I turn to head back and then see the door that leads to the roof and think fuck it. It seems as good a place as any to hideout.
I swing the door open and limp out onto the flat top, moving to the edge of the building so I can look down.
The lights of the city make everything look so pretty from up here, hiding the darker underbelly beneath their neon glow. I climb up on the ledge and swing my feet over, sitting down to finally rest.
I’m beyond tired. I’m mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. I think if I laid down right here, I would sleep for an eternity, completely oblivious to the world around me.
Come morning, I’m sure I’ll be embarrassed. I spewed all that shit out, airing my dirty laundry for all to judge. Now they will see precisely how tainted I am.
The gutter queen.
I’m still reeling from seeing Drake after all this time. I hurt him; I know I did. My words lashed against his skin as if I were flaying him open with a knife and I relished in it. I wanted him to hurt as much as I had been, but now as I sit here alone, I’m angry at myself for losing control.
I don’t know how long I sit here, but it’s long enough that my body is shaking from the cold and a pink tint has lightened the night sky.
I start when a pair of denim-clad legs climb up and sit on the ledge beside me. I look up and jolt again when I see his face.
“What are you doing here, Jude?” My voice comes out sounding hoarse, as if I’ve started smoking twenty cigarettes a day.
“Kai called. Everyone was frantically trying to find you until you turned up here and Baker spotted you on the security camera.”
“Right, of course, the cameras.” Such an idiot.
I look away, but he cups my jaw, turning me to look at him.
“Why are you here? Have you come to see how the mighty have fallen? From queen to trash all in one night because that’s who I really am, Jude. Beneath the designer clothes and expensive heels is the same dirty girl you met that day in the alleyway.”
“Good, because that’s the girl I fell for even when I knew it was wrong. That girl grew up to be the strongest, most formidable woman I