“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”
I slip my pen into my apron and rest my elbow on the bar. “And I take it you’re the single man in this particular instance?”
“I am,” says the new guy with all due seriousness.
“Any ideas who the lucky lady will be?”
“You.”
“Huh.” I frown, feeling mostly bemused. My Jane Austen T-shirt aside, this seems a little excessive. “Has this ever worked for you as a pickup line?”
“Never tried it before. How am I doing?”
“Well, there’s one main problem.”
“Just one?”
“Not to come across as a gold digger or anything, but since you raised the subject, you get that I’m going to need proof of this supposed fortune, right?” I ask. “What with you currently working as a busboy and all.”
“Harsh, but I can see where you’re coming from. What evidence do you need?”
At the other end of the bar, the manager pours a drink while not so subtly watching us out of the corner of his eye. Same goes for the other waitress on duty. Perhaps they dared him to talk to me. Bet him whatever amount of dollars to see if he can get me to agree to a date before standing me up and making me look the fool. Nothing surprises me here. There are reasons staff turnover is so high. For starters, Rob, the manager and owner of the dive bar, is an asshole who enjoys being unreasonable and inflicting his shitty sense of humor on others. While Kari, his new girlfriend and my fellow waitress, is somewhat of a raging bitch.
Not that the new dude isn’t cute. Don’t get me wrong; his attentions aren’t entirely unwelcome. Truth be told, I’ve been oh-so-subtly checking him out ever since my shift started. He’s in his mid to late twenties, at a guess. And I’ve been observing how good his rear looks encased in faded denim as he bends over tables to wipe them down. I’ve noticed the cool-looking tattoo only half-visible beneath the sleeve of his T-shirt. Then there’s the way his thick longish dark hair has a tendency to artfully fall over his forehead as if he were some cinematic hero.
As for his face, let’s just say he has a nice one.
So given that he’s about a ten physically, and I’m a high six at most, you can understand my suspicions. But we haven’t hit the evening rush yet and time feels like it’s crawling, so the new busboy is pretty much the highlight of my shift. And a little harmless flirting can be fun. Especially when the dude knows Austen and the work environment is as dire as this one.
“Let me think.” I give my long blond braid a tug. “Asking to see bank statements seems crass. Also, they could be falsified.”
“True.”
“But bringing me a suitcase full of cash seems…excessive.”
“Probably be really heavy too.”
“Hmm.”
He sighs. “Tell you what, why don’t I just go ahead and get you a ring?”
“You mean an engagement ring to celebrate our impending nuptials?”
“Right.” He crosses his arms. And I did not get distracted by the movement of his muscles beneath his tanned golden skin. Nope. Like the well-bred young lady I am, I keep my gaze glued to his pretty green eyes. “What if I prove my good fortune and excessive wealth by buying you the perfect ring?”
“All right, then. Just make sure you get something big and flashy without being ostentatious or over the top. No one likes that.”
“Understood.”
“Great. Materialistic, but acceptable. What was your name again, good sir?”
“Beck.” He holds out his hand and we shake. His hand is big and his grip firm, but not overly so. “Can I just call you ‘wife’? That’s easy to remember.”
“Ha. I’m—”
“Alice. I know.”
“Nice to meet you, Beck.” I retrieve my hand and pull my pad and pen out of my apron. “Now, as great as this has been, I have customers to serve.”
“One last question. Would you like to go out sometime? With me?”
I pause.
“I hear they have great coffee and pie at the bakery.”
“Yes, they do. But I don’t think we should move too fast. We’ve only just settled the marriage question. Already moving on to coffee seems like a big step.”
“That’s a fair point and I certainly wouldn’t want to rush things. It’s just that there are a few things I’d like to discuss regarding our upcoming nuptials. The floral arrangements, in particular. You can never start planning