thrown Jessica out on to the streets for falling behind with her rent.’
Adam’s voice broke at this point and he was momentarily too distressed to go on, but then he calmed himself and continued, ‘When Seth brought this news back to me I was beside myself and I ordered him to find her at any cost and stop her from returning home. On Christmas Eve he eventually found her wandering on the outskirts of the town and followed her, unsure of what he should do. After some time, he saw her seek refuge in the doorway of the church and from the sounds that were issuing from there he guessed that she was giving birth. Some time later, whilst Seth was still watching, Mrs Ernshaw came along and he saw her go to Jessica’s assistance. All was quiet by then and when Mrs Ernshaw left a short time later, he crept into the doorway and saw that my poor sister’s struggles were over. He presumed that the child must also have died inside her, for he had not heard an infant cry and there was no sign of a baby.’ Adam’s voice broke as he concluded the sorry tale. ‘Jessica was dead, and so not knowing what else to do, Seth removed her body and shortly afterwards had her buried in an unmarked grave.’ Adam faced his parents. ‘And so now you know the terrible secret that I have been forced to live with, all of these years. You will probably disown me and I do not blame you. But I will tell you this: there is no punishment that you could inflict on me that could make me suffer a fraction of what I have suffered over the years. You could never loathe me or hate me half as much as I hate and loathe myself. What I did is unforgivable and I can truthfully say I will never forgive myself to my dying day. And all for a woman who turned out to be not good enough to lick my sister’s boots.’
A terrible silence lay heavy on the room. The tale that Adam had just told them was so awful that no words for now could express his parents’ feelings.
But then slowly his father’s eyes found his. ‘I can forgive you, Adam, because in my heart of hearts I know that I am just as responsible for this tragedy as you are. I was the one who ordered Jessica from the house in the first place, and like you I shall never be able to forgive myself for that. For me, there can be no excuse for my actions except for a father’s foolish pride. But you were young and in love and could not foresee the terrible consequences of your actions. I have already lost one child through my pride and I do not intend to lose another.’
Adam now broke down and wept as his father looked beyond him to his wife, whose face was stricken.
‘I am afraid that from this night on, we must accept that we will never see our beloved girl again,’ he told her. ‘We must also accept that she has long been dead and buried, but one thing we can do is rejoice in the fact that we still have our granddaughter – and if Seth will only show us where Jessica is buried, we can visit her there and make our peace with her. Will you do that for us, Seth?’
‘Aye, I will, master, an’ be right glad to,’ the man said humbly.
Throughout the confession, Josephine had not spoken one word, but now she surprised them all when she stood up and said quietly, ‘If you did but know it, Adam, this confession is almost welcome. Now at last we can put the past behind us and look to the future. Deep inside, I have somehow known since the day we discovered that Amy was our granddaughter that Jessica was gone from us for good. She would never have abandoned her child and not gone in search of her, had she been alive. But still I clung to hope, not allowing myself to believe that she was dead. And now at last I can grieve properly and go on for Amy’s sake.’
She seemed strangely calm, almost as if she had already done her grieving through the last long lonely years, as indeed she had.
Chapter Thirty-Three
On a bitterly cold November day in the corner of the churchyard in Caldecote, a magnificent tombstone