Rhythm of War (The Stormlight Archive #4) - Brandon Sanderson Page 0,180

maybe?

Focus, Veil thought. Try nudging her to be uncomfortable, find out if she’s hiding something.

Shallan opened her mouth to make a comment like she had to Ishnah. Something else entirely came out.

“Are you actually happy?” Shallan asked.

“Brightness?” Beryl asked, still sitting on a box next to some chunks of obsidian. “Happy?”

“There’s a lightness about you,” Shallan said. “Is it real, or are you hiding the pain?”

“I think we all hide pain to an extent,” Beryl said. “But I don’t think I’m in particular agony.”

“And your past?” Shallan asked. “It doesn’t haunt you?”

“I won’t pretend my life was easy. The profession isn’t an easy one, and the women who find their way to it often have their problems magnified. There are ways to keep it from chewing you up, however. To make it your choice, done in your way.” She grimaced. “Or at least ways to tell yourself that…”

Shallan nodded, and heard a humming behind her. Pattern—her Pattern—had wandered over, and was inspecting Beryl’s Soulcasting handiwork.

“By the end,” Beryl continued, “I had a lot of control over the men who came to me. I liked becoming the woman they wanted. It wasn’t until you came searching for me, though, that I realized the truth.” She looked straight at Shallan. “That I could walk away if I wanted to. Nothing was keeping me there. Not any longer. I could have left months earlier. Odd, isn’t it?”

“That’s how it always is,” Veil said.

“Pardon, Brightness, but it’s not. A lot of the women are worse off than me. They couldn’t simply leave; it was the moss for some, threats for others. Some of us though…” She looked at her hand and let the seeds drop into the pile. “We talk about transformation. The Almighty’s greatest blessing to humans: the ability to change. Sometimes we need a seed too, eh?”

Shallan shuffled, looking to the side as Vathah walked by with one of the peakspren sailors. Maybe she should go talk to him, see if he was the spy.

You’re uncomfortable around Beryl, Radiant thought. Is it because she seems to have a greater handle on her life, when you assume she should be worse at it?

Feelings, feelings, Veil said. Blah blah blah. Shallan, stay on topic, please.

Shallan found her mind spiraling around her past. The things she had done. The things she was still hiding from, wearing this face that she pretended was her own. That she pretended she deserved. Shallan could be happy, but that happiness was built on lies.

Would it not be better to accept what she really was? Become the person she deserved to be? Formless—who had been hiding deep inside these last few days—stirred. She’d thought him forgotten, but he had been waiting. Watching …

“Help,” Shallan whispered.

“Brightness?” Beryl asked.

Radiant stood up straight, no longer lounging. “You are to be commended for your diligence, Beryl. You say that this method of Soulcasting has helped Vathah. Have you shown it to any of the others yet?”

“No, not yet. I—”

“I would like you to approach Ishnah and train her in it. Report to me the results of the experiment.”

“I will!” Beryl said. “Um, you seem different. Did you … become one of the others?”

“I have merely realized I have a great deal yet to do today,” Radiant said. That caused Pattern to hum. “Continue your efforts.”

She moved to leave, then pretended to reconsider and stepped back, speaking softly. “We need to be careful. I saw a gloryspren earlier that appeared odd. I think that Sja-anat, the corrupter of spren, is watching us. Report to me if you see any odd gloryspren, but stay very quiet about this to the others. I do not wish to inspire a panic.”

Beryl nodded.

That’s a little straightforward and blunt, Radiant, Veil said. The goal is to not act suspicious.

I do as I can, Radiant thought. And I am not suited to subterfuge.

Liar, Veil said. Shallan? Kid, you all right?

But Shallan had pulled into a knot within Radiant.

It was the conversation that set her off … Veil said. Something about it. About leaving your old life, and finding a new one?

Shallan whimpered.

I see … Veil said, retreating as well.

Great. She’d lost both of them. Well, Radiant’s job was to see that things got done. She walked after Vathah; Pattern stayed behind with Beryl, watching her work.

Vathah was carrying a large pole that was at least thirty feet long. What was he up to? Regardless, in Radiant’s estimation, Vathah was suspicious in an entirely different way from the other two. Vathah had