How could I be so dumb? All those vague answer he gave me about what he does for work make a lot more sense now.
“Shelby,” he says in a sharper tone. “I’m not fucking around. Look at me.”
I snap my head up. The intensity in his eyes doesn’t falter. He reaches for my hand, his touch warm and heartbreakingly gentle.
“This isn’t how I wanted to tell you.”
Lordy, here it comes.
“Tell me what?” Hot tears burn my eyes. “I don’t blame you. You’re so good at it. I bet you look even better on camera.”
“Wait, what?”
“I get it. It’s just a job to you. But I can’t…”
“Holy fuck.” He bangs his head against the steering wheel, his whole burly body shaking with laughter.
My sadness and fear twist into anger. I smack my palm against the seat. “It’s not funny! How could you not tell me?”
“It’s a little funny.” He sits up straight. “That you think I’m starring in porn. I’m flattered.”
“If that’s not it, then, what?”
“Job or not, I would’ve been honest if I’d been fucking other people, Shelby.”
“I don’t understand.”
He lets out a long sigh and stares out the windshield for a few seconds. “My club has a film company we bankroll. ‘Quasi-amateur’ is the best way to describe it. I run the technical end of things. After the films are made.” He pauses. “Well, that’s not completely true. I’ve had to be ‘on set’ a few times. As security for the talent, not as a performer.”
“Oh.” Some of the knots in my stomach loosen. “But you said your club. Is Anya from New York too? Did she come down here with you?”
“No. Our Virginia charter wants to build something similar to what we do. Z asked me to help them. Me taking her to the interview was a favor to Ice—not Anya. He couldn’t do it and asked me if I would. That’s it.” He turns his hands palms up. “Sorry it’s not more exciting.”
“So, you spend your days watching videos of pretty, naked women having sex?”
“That’s what you took from what I said? No, I spend a lot of my time staring at a computer screen, uploading files, filling out annoying forms, chasing down assholes who pirate our content, dealing with billing issues, looking at spreadsheets, and other mundane crap.” He slants a look at me. “I’m not a horny thirteen-year-old boy. Whacking it to porn all-day long isn’t that exciting anymore.”
“Gross,” I mutter. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“Well, for one thing, I’m really not in the habit of sharing club business with anyone outside the club.” He hesitates, drums his thumbs against the steering wheel. “I was worried you’d react…well, like this.” He scrunches up his face. “Actually, no, I didn’t expect you to think I was in the talent. I didn’t see that coming.”
“Shut up.” I reach over and lightly smack his arm. “If you’re going on the road with me, who’ll manage this stuff for the club?”
“I can do a lot of it remotely. I’m also trying to train Jigsaw so he can handle some of it for me.”
“Oh.” I stare down at my hands, still not sure what to say.
“I should’ve mentioned it sooner. I meant to say something this morning after you met Anya. We got sidetracked…and the interview.”
His voice never falters. Except for the brief laugher, his body remains calm and relaxed. The posture of a man with nothing to hide.
I’ve fallen so hard for this man. He treats me well. Shows me he cares in so many ways.
I want to trust him. But can’t help that little piece of me still scared, still wondering if he’s hiding something else.
Chapter Fifty-Three
Shelby
I’m two-stepping on shaky ground.
After a quick breakfast, we’re back in the truck on our way to the arena and my anxiety shoots through the roof.
How can I judge Logan for not telling me about his job? Here, I’ve been assigned a bodyguard twenty-four hours a day on the tour. That’s the kind of detail he would’ve wanted the minute it happened.
“Are you okay?” he asks. “You’re so quiet. Does your throat hurt?”
Actually, it does but that’s not what’s keeping my mouth glued shut.
I’m running out of time to warn Logan about the letters and my new bodyguard. Bane’s kind of hard to miss, and I have no doubt he’ll pop up as soon as I arrive at the arena. “Rooster—”
“Aw, fuck.” He peers into the rearview mirror and curses again.