That Rex Gotta Roar - Julia Mills Page 0,9
I haven't even asked. Now, I was born and bred in Tallulu Parish, Louisiana. See the hitch in my giddyup? Yeah, I knew you would. Cassie pretending that she has a twang makes my butt itch like I got fleas. Which I most assuredly do not.
I have tried to give her a pass. Really, I have. ‘Cause on account of, according to my momma and aunties, the Goddess and the Universe think it is hysterical to pair Southern Shifters with Northern Canaries. They – my kin - say She, aka the Goddess of All, likes to shake things up. In my case, I think she shook till the situation was inside-out and upside-down, but that’s just me. Anyway, you see my dilemma, right? Okay, cool. Sorry, just had to get that off my chest.)
Still talking, my Canary’s rant was reaching a blathering crescendo when I tuned back into hear her say, “And while I’m at it, how the hell did you not see this coming? Were you lookin’ the other way? Not paying attention? How did you miss the newsflash from your very own Psychic Hotline that Cora was contacting Zelda? Is your brain broken?”
“Might be,” I mocked. “Goddess knows, you’ve done a fair bit of damage to my little gray cells over the years. Maybe I should check us into the Hall? How’s that sound? Padded room for two? Not-padded room? One next to Pauline? Oh! Wait! How about the corner room with Bea Bea Betterfresh as a roommate?”
“Don’t even tease about that shit, Clem,” Cassie hissed in horror. “Those two would make the Pope curse and Mother Teresa lose her religion. They are nuts with a capital N-U-T-S! NO! NO! NO!”
Laying my hands on either side of my head, I tried with all my might to keep my ears from bleeding. I worked as hard as I could to keep my brain from turning to mush and leaking out those very same auricles as Cassie's screams got louder and more screechy with every syllable. Finally, I just let my eyes slide shut and pushed out the breath I'd been holding. Unfortunately, Jenn, my young Pterodactyl friend and soon to be sister-in-law, misunderstood my actions and obvious frustration. She thought they were directed at her. Like I could ever – in a million years – be upset with such a sweet, loving person. Not even considering that we would soon be related, Jenn was the best, a great addition to my Flock. It was like she'd been born to be one of us. And, hey, it worked for me because, after all, Tank and I were gonna be happier than pigs in shit, I tell ya'. (Nope, not giving up on that dream. I saw it. Remember that psychic stuff Cassandra was bitchin' about? It's real. I know Tank is my Mate. I just have to get up the gumption to do something about it. If you have any ideas, help a sister out, 'kay?)
"Oh no," Jenn cried out. "You hate me, don't you? Dammit! Why didn't I think of calling you? Why didn't I call any of y'all? I'm so…"
“Stop!” Rushing forward and laying my hands on her shoulders, I forced myself to be calm and understanding if for no other reason than to help our Pterodactyl. (I've seen what can happen when one of those giant, winged dinosaurs means business. Just a couple of months ago, Jenn ate Edna's maniacal, bloodthirsty cousin in one bite. It was awesome and creepy and weird as shit all at the same time. So, you see, I did not want a repeat of that incident in the basement of Bailmore Hall. Think of how awkward family gatherings would be.)
“Stop. Stop. Stop. I am the one who's sorry. You have nothing to apologize for." Pulling her in for a hug, feeling worse by the minute for bursting into the room and acting like a raving lunatic, (Yeah, I've done it before. Yeah, I'll do it again. But this time, I was more cray-cray than usual. Sue me.) I was happy to feel my newest sister-of-the-heart relax. However, the looks I was getting from the rest of my Flock… well, let's just say, they were glaring at me like I had three heads and had just laid a couple of eggs. (No, Feathered Shifters do not lay eggs. We have babies just like you. Thought I better clear that up before I moved on. I'd hate to see that headline in the supermarket