That Rex Gotta Roar - Julia Mills Page 0,26

a notch or two, and I could feel all the love she felt for my Mate and soon to be sister-in-law as she affectionately scolded, "Why in all that's holy would I EVER haunt you two? I love y'all more than sugar beets and sweet iced tea." Her big, robust laugh, the one that always made everybody within earshot chuckle right along, flew right out of my mouth like it was my own. "Hell, all I wanted was a nice restful forever in the Big Vacay in the Sky with your Uncle Clyde. I would never…"

“See, see there,” Jenn gasped, her index finger doing the Hokey Pokey as she nodded and looked around the room. “I told you that’s what she called Heaven. Told y’all.”

“Hey, Baby,” Mabel cooed. “How you…”

Whatever Miss Mabel was about to ask was cut off, lost in the horrible sounds of growling and snarling that reminded me of what I always thought the Hounds of Hell would sound like. (Preacher Skinner at the Tallulu Parish First Methodist Church is a Skunk Shifter who believes in putting the fear of G-O-D in all his parishioners.)

Coming back after a whole heck of a lot of yelling, hollering, and cussing in words that weren't really curse words but in the tone Miss Mabel used were perfect substitutions, my Mate's auntie was madder than a wet hen. (I know that because not only was I the conduit for her voice, I also could feel everything that she felt. I know you figured that out up there somewhere, but I thought maybe I should just spell it out. So, there ya' have it.)

"Y'all kids need to get to gettin'. Shit's gone from bad to worse. The Hounds of Hell are hungry, and anything movin' is fair game." Takin' a deep breath that sorta kinda wheezed, she kept right on going, "That gosh-darned, no good, oughta be whipped and sent to bed without dinner, Daughter - of - a - Voodoo - Priest - without - an - ounce - of - magic - that's - her - own has just about taken down the whole son of a monkey's butt Veil."

The unmistakable thunk and thud of a rolled-up newspaper hitting something very hard and very solid was followed by whines and whimpers as Mabel yelled, "And just come on back, you muthasuckin' fudge nuggets if you ever want another butt kickin'. I gotcha covered, you, nasty little hobknockers."

“Sorry about that, children,” she quickly apologized. “Whoooweee, see what I mean. Things are goin’ from bad to worse faster than a fart in a windstorm. And that’s just not right. You gotta get out to the Manor and close that Portal. It’s down in the root cellar under that stack of peach crates I piled up near on a hundred years ago. I don’t know how she knew it was there, but that dadgum Wannabe Witch found it.”

More deep breaths and a little bit of mumbling like the channel Miss Mabel was using to project her voice through me was fading, and then she was back louder and stronger than ever. “Close that door! We’re counting on you, Clementine Sue. Me, Miss MacElfresh, Clyde, all of us who should be in the Big Vacay in the Sky but got sucked down here – well, our Fate is in your cute little hands. The Other Way Round just ain't for folks like us. We're counting on you and Tank, and Jenn and all y'all young'uns to get this pile of horse manure set to rights."

"But, I don't know how…" For a brief second, my voice was my own. It felt good. Nice. Almost normal. But it didn't last long, 'Cause Miss Mabel wasn't done.

"Were you not listenin'? Clementine, do you ever listen? I told you that it was all up there in that crazy brain of yours. I know it's there, 'cause I put it there. You just gotta let the information flow…"

“But…”

"But nothing, Clementine Sue Cooper, do not argue with your Elders. You've got to…"

Another round of snarls and growls coupled with the sound of ripping fabric before the thunking and thwapping started again, and Miss Mabel shouted, "Save us, Clem, and tell Zelda I said, hey!"

Just like that, in a blink of my eye and beat of my heart, Miss Mabel was gone, my mouth was my own, and I burped. Not something I was especially proud of, but you try channeling a sassy, many hundred years old Triceratops Shifter who was