That Rex Gotta Roar - Julia Mills Page 0,1
and his bangs stick up like he slathered them in dippity-doo then ran straight into a wall going thirty miles an hour? Yeah, him. Put his stupid ass on an airplane, with a Polaroid slung around his neck, and the camera on his phone as a backup. I'm staying here and following this story wherever it leads me. There’s something good down here in the Swamp. Something readers will love. Hell, it’s damned near Halloween. People will sop this shit up with a biscuit.”
(Yes, my southern roots were rearing their sassy head. Yes, I was doing it on purpose. It was something my New York-born and bred mentor didn't care for nor understand, which meant at that particular moment, I was gonna throw all the twang I could into my voice and lob as many 'silly sayings' through the mouthpiece of my cell phone as possible. Yes, it was childish. No, I didn't care.)
“You’re always on my ass about branching out, reaching new readers, finding a new niche that most photographers are either afraid to venture into or just too stupid to try.”
“Clem…”
“Do not ‘Clem’ me, Cora C. Crankenbush. Do not go there. Do not…”
“What’s his name, Clem?”
“…go… What?! Huh? Who…? What are you…? Have you lost…?”
"Yep! That's what I thought." Her throaty rasp that served as an all-too-satisfied laugh, the one that instinctively made my eyes roll and goosebumps do the macarena up and down my arms, rang in my ear. "You've found that elusive creature, haven't you? The one we all secretly want more than maple bacon doughnuts and quad shot caramel macchiatos. The one we refuse to admit to wanting because we – the females of this world – think we have to shake our fists in the air and sing Helen Reddy's I Am Woman at the top of our lungs twenty-four-seven. The one and only, ordained by the Goddess, makes your heart go pitter-pat and your tummy turn somersaults, greatest enigma ever created. None other than – drum roll please – your one and only, True Fated Mate.”
"Well, I never… I mean, that's to say, how could you think… What are you…" Backpedaling like baby ducks on a frozen pond, I tried to dig myself out of a hole that was quickly approaching the bottom of the most bottomless Pit in Hell. The writing was on the wall. It read, Clementine Sue Cooper, you are screwed, and flashed like the neon sign over Bubba Lou's BBQ Pit and Strip Club. The icy fingers of defeat were pulling at my tail feathers. I'd been found out bigger than an ex-football star without a glove.
With an exasperated huff that had my bangs flying off my forehead, I tossed my poor attempt at subterfuge, a stupid charade, to say the least, right out the window. Flopping backward onto the overstuffed cushions of the oversized old couch that used to be my granny's, I groaned, "Well, Gator crap, how did you know? Go on. Tell me how, where, and when I messed up. I know it puts the tickle in your pink. Hit me. Goddess knows I'm payin' attention.”
Laughing so loud that I had to pull the phone from my ear or risk a lifetime of wearing hearing aids and saying, "huh" like Uncle Bocephus, I groaned because that old Crane was having way too much fun at my expense. But what could I do? I was cold busted. She'd seen through my ruse and wasn't going to let me live it down, at least not for a really long time.
"Girl, I know you better than the feathers covering my own still-pert-no-matter-how-old-I-get derriere. There was no way, no how you would leave an assignment unfinished, much less agree to let me give it to the Vandermere Witch if there wasn’t something ruffling your feathers in the best kinda way.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not even sure that he knows I’m alive.”
“Okay, yeah, whatever,” Cora scoffed. “Like there’s a man of any species – Shifter or otherwise – ever been born who could resist your charms. Damn, Girl, you're a catch, and that's coming from somebody who's seen you first thing in the morning, after a twenty-hour plane ride, with screaming, two-year-old twins in the seat behind you, before you've even smelled the coffee brewing."
“You’re just sayin’ that ‘cause you have to.”
"Have you ever known me to sugar coat anything? Be nice or give a compliment that I didn't mean if money or reputation wasn't involved? To anyone in this whole wide