to count for something, doesn't it?” he asked softly. “Please tell me. What have you got to lose?”
Everything...
My eyes filled with tears and I fought to make them go away. I wanted to choke them back like I had done for years, but one of them escaped and rolled down my numb face, betraying me.
Alessandro wiped away the trail of wetness from my skin and his eyes softened to the point it hurt to look at them. “Tesoro…” he whispered in silent encouragement.
Stay strong, Olivia. Don't fall apart now when you’ve held on for so long. Don't let him see the tears. Don't let him see the pain. But it was too late. I wouldn't be able to hold it in anymore. It was coming out to the surface. It was unstoppable. “You...You hurt me,” I agonized in a quiet, broken voice.
Alessandro's face turned pale. He expelled a long, harsh breath and his eyelids lowered half-way as though he expected to hear that answer. “How?” His voice was a strangled whisper.
Cold sweat broke on my forehead, and it was hard to breathe.
He tilted my chin, and those dark mesmerizing eyes locked with mine. “It's okay. You can tell me, Olivia,” he encouraged in that same gentle tone. “I won't get mad, I promise.”
I didn't want to tell him. I didn't want him to know. It might make him damage me even more. Or even worse, he might look at me with disgust. But I opened the pandora's box and there was no going back.
Slowly, I brought my hands to the small of my back and pulled up my pajama shirt to my shoulders, baring my back to Alessandro’s expectant gaze. Cool air touched my skin and I shivered from both coldness and fear, but—most of all—shame because now he would know how much he had damaged me. I didn't utter a sound, but held his gaze, and my eyes told him everything.
I turned around so he could view my back, and he drew in a shaky breath. He remained staring at it for a long time without making a single move or sound. I tried erasing all those images from the times when I would explore my reflection in the mirror and confront myself over and over again with the ugly marks which painted a clear picture of Alessandro's rage. It was hard to stay calm and silent because I knew exactly what he inspected. The fact I had succumbed to both him and my weakness made me hate myself.
“I did this to you,” he said, more to himself than to me as if he was trying to convince himself his statement was true.
I didn't offer a confirmation because I knew he didn't need one. I didn't make a sound.
“I did this to you,” he repeated again, and his voice rang with heavy emotion.
Then, slowly, his fingers connected with the scars on my skin and the dam of my control was forever broken. An almost inhuman cry tore out of my throat and those tears I had been fighting to hold back for so long spilled from my eyes. I wasn't quiet. I was sobbing as violent shivers took hold of my body, and I couldn't calm down. It was past the point of my control. Alessandro swore under his breath and dragged me into his arms, removing the gun from my hands.
“Shh, it's okay, tesoro. Just let it out.” He held me tight against his chest. “It's okay. I'm here for you, Olivia.”
He continued whispering reassurances and rocking me back and forth as I shuddered in his arms and wept with such force that I thought it would never come to an end. Years' worth of suffering and pain melted into those incessant tears that burned my skin like acid. The ice around my heart melted and there was such an intense powerful pain in my chest I thought it would break into pieces, and I would bleed to death right there in Alessandro's embrace.
After what felt like hours, I remained motionless in his arms, feeling exhausted and hopeless. From time to time, I made a soft sniveling sound, but I had no more tears left to cry. Alessandro didn't say a word. He just kept rocking me in his embrace as if I were a helpless child.
“What the hell happened, Olivia?” he asked in a constricted voice, as though he truly couldn't imagine he was the man who had caused me so much pain.