you,” I said simply. That wasn't a lie. Not at the time.
His eyes widened ever so briefly. Had I blinked, I would have missed it. “So when did it stop?” he inquired softly.
“I don't know what you mean.”
“When did you stop loving me, Olivia?” he asked, as though convinced it was true.
I released a shaky breath. “I didn't.”
“I would be tempted to believe you, cara, if you didn't look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
He shook his head a fraction. “Like I don't matter to you,” he muttered. “There is no light in your eyes when you talk to me. There is no emotion whatsoever.”
“Alessandro—”
“And when I close my eyes, I see a shy innocent girl looking at me with so much warmth and feeling that any man of flesh and blood wouldn't be able to resist.”
“Alessandro—” I breathed.
“Don't tell me I'm seeing things that are not there,” he warned, his fervent eyes locked on my face. “I know indifference when I see it.”
I just stared at him, and suddenly he leaned closer until he was so near our lips were almost touching. “Shall I prove it?” he whispered.
His lips hovered over mine, and he attempted to kiss me for the third time since his accident. And for the third time, I jerked away and fell right into his trap. A murky storm raged in the depths of his dark irises.
“Are you going to tell me, cara?” he demanded bluntly.
I shook my head, keeping my eyes glued on his frowning face.
“Why?” His voice dripped with frustration.
“Because there is nothing to say,” I persisted in a constricted voice.
His gaze went distant for the hundredth time in the past few days. “I don't know what the hell happened between us, Olivia,” he said in a strangled tone, as if he was convinced something had happened. “You won't tell me and I can't remember. I don't know how or why I married you. I remember I wanted you more than I wanted any other woman, but you were too young and too innocent for my world.” His eyes glimmered with those undecipherable traces of light. “I swore to myself I would only look and never touch...I guess I was too weak to fight it. Now, you’re mine, but I can sense you don't want to be.”
That was it. I was about to fall apart right then and there, in front of the last man I needed as my damn scrutinizing audience.
Alessandro glared at me with that same frustration in his eyes. “Do you think you can say something, Olivia?”
I shook my head yet again, choking back a whimper forming in my throat.
“If you have nothing to say, I will assume we’ve had a normal marriage and will proceed accordingly.”
There was no need for a clarification. I knew what he meant. If I didn't offer a reasonable explanation, he would go ahead and demand sex. I couldn't speak, but I had to. I had to say something before he hurt me.
“Alessandro, you're making it bigger than it is,” I asserted, keeping up the cold exterior on the outside while falling apart on the inside. I was determined to trivialize the matter and not show any weakness. “I'm just really tired and don't feel like kissing with a smelly breath.”
He smirked and shuffled closer until I sensed his body heat. “Oh, but if that’s the only thing bothering you, let me reassure you, cara,” he murmured in my ear. “Your breath doesn't smell one little bit. And if you’re tired…I have just the right medicine to wake you up.” He brought his lips to mine, as if he would try to kiss me again.
I jerked away and gave him a determined glare even though I was terrified. “Alessandro, stop it!”
He laughed. The bastard laughed. “Cristo...If I didn't know better, I would think you’re scared senseless,” he murmured in wonder and gazed into my eyes. “You’ve told me yourself we were intimate before the accident.”
My face twisted into a miserable expression as memories clouded my mind. “Yes, we were intimate,” I confessed in a quiet voice.
“You say it like it's a bad thing. Did you hate being intimate with me?”
Not as nearly as much as I should have. I shook my head.
“But you hate the idea of being intimate with me now?” he inquired in apparent confusion.
I shook my head again and Alessandro released a deep sigh of exasperation. “Then what is the problem?” he raised his voice slightly above a whisper.