and I'll respect each and every one of your decisions.”
“That sounds very self-sacrificial,” I pointed out. “Are you sure you're not going to regret making such a promise?”
He paused, and smiled with a hint of sadness. “No, cara. I've been a huge bastard in the past. Giving up control in that department is the least I can do to make it up to you.” His dark gaze glistened with strange emotion as he gently caressed my cheek. “You know something…I wish this was our wedding night. I wish this was your first time. Cristo, you were so young…”
I laid my hand on his cheek because I didn’t want to have this conversation. “Alessandro, hush…”
“Cara, I can’t.” His breath grazed my skin. “I fucked up so many times and I’m scared to let you down again. I don’t want to see that fear in your eyes. It would positively kill me.”
“You won’t let me down,” I muttered softly and smiled. “I’m a grown woman now and you’re not the same man…besides, I don’t see myself living in celibacy for the rest of my life.”
His eyes flashed with a sense of recognition as I mimicked his own words and he breathed my name in a heavy sigh, “Olivia…”
“If that’s what you want, we can pretend,” I murmured, bringing my lips to his. “We can pretend this is the first time ever…”
“Would you like that, tesoro?” he whispered against my skin. “Would you like to close your eyes and imagine you’re my bride?”
“Yes, Alessandro.” I gasped as my heart fluttered in a crazy rhythm. “I would like that.”
“Then close your eyes, principessa,” he encouraged softly. “Close your eyes and I’ll let you live the fairytale.”
With those words, his lips connected with mine and he kissed me with gentle persuasion. As he resumed his touch between my thighs, I listened to his demand and squeezed my eyes shut. Alessandro’s skillful hands brought me to the brink of ecstasy, until I could take no more and I shuddered in his arms. His name repeated from my lips in utter bliss as waves of pleasure spread through my entire body.
Alessandro's mouth drank the strangled raspy sounds that escaped my throat and he whispered soft Italian endearments in my ear. Without taking his eyes away from mine, he slowly removed his boxers and I felt the tip of his manhood nudging at my entrance. Alessandro burned with powerful desire that would be unleashed at any moment. I held my breath and waited, but he didn’t do anything. Leaning above me, he just caressed my face and gazed into my eyes, searching for something in them. Then, his face settled into an uncertain expression and he exhaled a long breath, as though he was losing some kind of inner battle.
“Cara, are you absolutely sure—”
“Shut up, Alessandro,” I intervened and brought my lips to his.
It was enough to bring him over the edge and he finally gave in and entered me with staggering slowness. His eyes never left mine as he gently deepened his possession, dragging in a deep breath as though he savored the feeling. When he was completely sheathed inside me, I gasped from the feeling of fullness and he stilled on top of me. His eyes narrowed with an expression of worry.
“Am I hurting you, Olivia?” he asked softly.
I shook my head. “No, I'm okay.”
“Okay is not good enough, tesoro,” he whispered. “I need you to tell me how you feel. Do you want me to stop?”
“No, I don't want you to stop,” I breathed. “I want...I want you to...”
“What?” he asked, moving just a little bit inside me. “What do you want, principessa?”
A pang of pleasure rushed through my body and I gave into the sensation, whispering, “Alessandro, I want you to make love to me.”
He let out a hot breath filled with rich satisfaction. “I was hoping you might say that. As always, tesoro, your wish is my command.”
As I gazed at Alessandro in breathless fascination, he set up a slow and gentle rhythm, allowing me to get used to his presence until I melted in his embrace all over again. Glistening golden irises took in every single sound and expression I made as he increased the pressure, spreading his skillful touch along every inch of my skin. His lips inflamed me with desire so powerful I couldn't hold it in anymore; and I let out small helpless moans as my hips met his movements of their own accord.
Alessandro's eyes built with dark intensity as he quickened the pace of his lovemaking, taking us both over the edge. He shuddered in a surge of powerful release and then collapsed on top of me, murmuring those same endearments as he tried to catch his breath.
In the aftermath of passion, neither of us could bear to break this blissful feeling of closeness we’d shared for possibly the first time ever. So, we remained in each other's arms, slowly bringing our breathing back to normal. For what felt like hours later, we were still close; touching, kissing...simply breathing and existing like a one single unit.
“I love you, Olivia,” Alessandro whispered in my ear as I drew different shapes on his skin with my fingers. “I love you so much that I feel my heart is going to burst out of my chest.”
“I love you too,” I said simply. It felt like the most natural thing to say. But when I looked into Alessandro's eyes, his face grimaced as though he was hurt.
“It's okay, cara,” he muttered. “You don't have to say anything in return. I don't expect you to.”
The realization dawned on me and I smiled. “I know you don't. That's not why I'm saying it.”
“Why else would you say it?” he inquired, as if he wouldn't even consider I was truly in love with him.
“Because I really mean it,” I whispered. “I love you, Alessandro Damiani. I love you with everything I have...just don't ruin it again.”
He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. His chest rose up and down from the impact of his deep breathing.
“Alessandro.. “ I called his name and placed my palm on his chest, where I could feel the wild beating of his heart. The contact startled him into opening his eyes, but he didn't say a word. He just pulled me into his arms and held me tightly against himself, as I ran my fingers along his back yet again. I didn't know for how long we lay skin to skin in this dark silence, but eventually, Alessandro murmured into my hair.
“You really do love me, don't you, Olivia?” he asked with a sense of amazement.
I inhaled a chunk of air and simply existed in the moment. “Yes, Alessandro. I really do.”
“Cara, I don't think I've ever been this happy or felt such peace within me.” His voice became constricted and emotional. “I didn't dare to think...I didn't dare to hope...”
I placed my fingers on his lips. “It was what you wanted all along, wasn't it, Alessandro?”
He nodded. “Si. It was this...always this, but I never felt I was worthy of it.”
“You’re worthy,” I murmured. “You’re definitely worthy.”
His eyes filled with hope. “Does that mean, you’re not going to leave me, cara?”
I smiled against the nape of his neck. “Not unless you want me to.”
But he didn't laugh. He was deadly serious when he gently tilted my chin and made me meet his dark, resolved gaze. “Never. Even if you left a thousand times, I'd always want you to come back.”
I chuckled at his honesty and comforted him with a soft kiss on his lips. “Don't worry, love. I don't think it will ever come to that...I don't want to leave anymore. I want to stay right where I am.”
Alessandro smiled in appreciation of my words and murmured into my hair. “Please, say it again.”
“I love you, Alessandro,” I indulged his demand.
“Come?” he asked in Italian.
“Ti voglio bene,” I breathed. “Ti voglio tanto bene.”