He sneered, swirling the golden liquid cupped in his palm. “My hands were shaking badly, but I didn't hesitate to pull the trigger. I had to prove myself. That was all that mattered.”
My eyes widened and words failed me. Alessandro's revelations sent such fierce shock straight through me that I jolted in my seat.
“Don't look at me like that, tesoro. Do you want the truth or some made up fairytale?” he demanded. “I grew up to be a merciless man and a cold blooded killer—just like my uncle Gabriele. In a way, my entire life was mapped out for me. I was supposed to inherit his position, marry a nice Italian girl from our circles and rule over the entire empire with an iron fist. Emotions played no part in it. And never had...not until the day I met you in that restaurant.”
“What do you mean?” I asked with staggering caution.
“I don’t know how to describe it. I guess I felt intrigued for possibly the first time in my life. You were so shy and so unaware of your beauty. You breathed innocence,” he murmured. “Whenever I was near you, there was light. It was contagious like fucking heroine and I always wanted more because it was never enough to get you out of my system.”
“So, you kept coming back?” I whispered, unsure of what to say.
He stroked the crystal glass on his desk. “I fought with myself for a long time, Olivia,” he admitted. “I wanted you so much, but knew I could never make you mine. Even though you made it painfully obvious you were falling for me, you were too young and too innocent for me to act upon it.”
I blushed as the memories of that time assailed my mind. “It was hard not to fall for you. You were always so charming and kind to me when you came to Mangiare. Nobody ever treated me with such consideration or paid me that kind of attention,” I said quietly, biting my lower lip. “I thought you were the best thing that ever happened to me. I was very naïve.”
Alessandro smiled. “Cara, you weren't naïve. We just both couldn't fight those feelings. It was one of those once in a lifetime things.”
“I was naïve and very immature, Alessandro,” I argued, staring at him with a pointed glare. “I spent days acting like a love-sick teenager. I was feeling sorry for myself and I despaired when I realized you would never come back to the restaurant.”
“So? You were only seventeen and I hurt your feelings. It was only natural you'd be upset,” he offered with a slight shrug. “I'm aware it wasn't very considerate of me to suddenly disappear without a word or a goodbye.”
“You didn't owe me anything,” I said in an even tone. “I wasn't your girlfriend.”
“But I wanted you to be just that. You made me want to be a different man...a man that I couldn't be,” he revealed. “The thought of claiming you for myself became too tempting. My uncle would have never accepted it, and I even contemplated going against him. Lorenzo thought I was going insane, but I wouldn't listen. Then, I saw you with that boy on Valentine's Day and it was a long overdue wake up call. I knew I had no right to taint you with my darkness.”
“That was the last time you came into the restaurant.” I closed my eyes briefly, the sensations from that memory twisting at my heart all over again.
“Yes, tesoro. It was one of the most difficult and selfless things I’ve ever done. I gave up on the one thing in this world I cared about because I wanted you to stay happy and innocent.”
I gazed at him in surprise. “I thought you left because you didn't care. I've seen the women you dated on the Internet and I knew I couldn't compare to them.”
“Cara, how could you ever think that? I left, but that didn't mean I stopped thinking about you. You were driving me insane. I used to sleep with a different woman every day and after I've met you, I'd turned completely celibate. There wasn't a single woman who could hold my interest for longer than two seconds before my thoughts returned to you,” he confessed. “I wanted to go back to the restaurant so many times. I drove by. I searched for your face on the pavement in the middle of the