My mind drifted back into that hotel room where I lay in bed—broken and beaten. Alessandro hovered above me, his eyes wet with unshed tears. I gulped at the ugly memory. Then, I remembered the kind doctor’s words. Mr. Damiani is beside himself with worry. Blinking, I returned back to the present, and met Alessandro’s black expectant stare.
“Because you knew I was hurting?” I blurted out in a quiet constricted voice, the words sounding incredulous.
But Alessandro didn’t deny them. Instead, he confessed to something incredible. “That’s right, piccola. As strange as it sounds, I fucking hate seeing you in pain.” His thumb brushed against my chin, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I don't want to hurt you anymore than you want to be hurt. Do you understand?”
I didn't. I didn't understand him at all, but that was not the answer he wanted to hear. “Yes.”
“Then I will ask you for the last time,” he murmured gently. “Do you intend to deny me tonight?”
The shadowed expression in his murky eyes told me enough to know he was offering a choice that wasn't a choice at all. Something in him demanded my verbal permission for him to proceed, but we both knew what would happen if I declined. Whatever you do, don't reject him...a voice in my head whispered a warning.
“No...I don't,” I said against my better judgement, following this strong instinct that told me it was the right thing to say; the only possible answer to that question.
Alessandro's expression lightened, and he even smiled as he brushed his knuckles along my cheek. “Grazie, tesoro. It’s comforting to know we don't have to be enemies on all fronts,” he whispered in an alleviated voice and pulled me closer. I tensed, but he started murmuring soft reassurances in my ear. “Don't fear me. I know it's been a long time. I'll take good care of you, piccola. I promise,” he said as though he wasn’t only referring to this particular moment.
He attempted to kiss my lips, but I turned my head aside in an instinctive reaction.
“Olivia...” he whispered gently.
“I don't want to kiss,” I declared, still looking away from him. “Please don’t make me.”
A kiss was too intimate. A kiss always made me feel things that threatened to tear me apart. A kiss was more than I could bear.
“You don't want to make it personal, is that it?” he demanded quietly.
I offered no reply, but Alessandro was not a fool. He could read me like an open book. He could have my body, but I was adamant not to let him into my heart. He snickered with unhidden bitter mockery and that darkness settled right back into his expression. “Stubborn still?” he asked softly, forcing me to look at him. “Tell me, tesoro...how long do you intend to defy me like this?”
“I'm not trying to defy you,” I said, drowning in the darkness of his mesmerizing eyes. “I'm just being honest. I don’t want you to kiss me.”
Alessandro stared with frightening intensity, holding his lips right above mine. Then, he let out a long breath. “Fine. I’ll give you what you want.” He evaded my lips and went on to kiss my chin instead. The soft breeze of his whisper landed on my skin. “But I can’t deny your mixed signals almost had me fooled. You claim you don't want me to hurt you, but every time I try to come closer, you pull away. Tell me, tesoro, is remaining pure and blameless that fucking important?” he taunted as he spread kisses lower down my body, inflaming my skin. “It appears I always need to take on the role of a heartless bastard for the sake of your sacred conscience, but I will not let you pretend to be a martyr this time around. When you’re hurt and feel humiliated...don’t forget you wanted it to be like this between us.”
I wasn't sure what he meant, but I would find out very soon. Alessandro had never attempted to kiss my lips after that night. Though he always made sure I drew pleasure from the act, he made it very cold and impersonal. There were no discussions between us and no whispered reassurances to ease the moments of discomfort. He didn't show me the ring again and didn't seem interested in returning it to me.
In the beginning, I thought it would make things easier because the emotional distance had a healing effect on my guilty conscience. But my