Rent a Boyfriend - Gloria Chao Page 0,17

when Yilong and Nǎinai were here. Nǎinai stared at me with half-blank eyes while my aunt chattered about the article she’d just read that said if you swung your arms three thousand (yes, three thousand ) times a day, you’d live a longer, healthier life.

I actually missed my mother’s criticisms and fussing. I considered chewing with my mouth open just to get her to slap my hand and remind me to “be a lady.” Or maybe I should prop my leg up on the chair—my favorite eating position always made her hiss, You look like a villager!

But I held back. I was afraid she wouldn’t do anything—just like how she hadn’t swatted my jiggling leg—and it would only remind me how she became a ghost in the presence of her in-laws.

So we ate in uncomfortable silence heavy with secrets and repressed anger—in other words, a normal family dinner. Unfortunately, this was just the calm before the shitstorm.

Since Yilong and my parents’ backs were to the entrance and Nǎinai’s eyesight was even worse than mine, they didn’t see him come in. But I did. And she was with him.

Maybe it’s not him, I told myself—I hadn’t seen him in years. But I knew I was deluding myself. He was a younger, thinner Bǎbá, complete with white Reeboks and sideswept hair.

My brother and his petite Taiwanese girlfriend exchanged a loving glance. Her sleek, stylish bob framed her face perfectly, swishing gracefully with her neck movements. Then he slipped his arm around her tiny waist, routine, but her face lit up as if it were the first time.

My mind scrambled, trying to piece this image of her with the one my parents had forged in my mind. They had led me to believe she was the devil, breaking up our family for her own evil kicks. Not this seemingly sweet girl. An actual person.

Xing met my stare and froze.

My brain flooded with memories. Xing reenacting Sailor Moon episodes with me. Xing buying Horny for me because my parents had been too frugal. And worst of all, Xing, the last time I saw him, burying his face in his scarf, unable to tell me he wouldn’t be seeing me for a long time. Four years, it turned out.

My pulse quickened. I was trapped.

I snatched my father’s chopsticks out of his hand so he couldn’t chuck them across the restaurant when the inevitable battle broke out. The pork ball they had been holding rolled down his shirt as one chopstick slipped through my fingers and clattered to the floor.

Oops.

He raised an eyebrow at me. As he turned to signal the waitress for a new pair, I realized I had just shot Archduke Ferdinand. If I hadn’t done anything, maybe they wouldn’t have noticed. Maybe Xing and his girlfriend would have left.

My father’s hand fell to the side when he spotted them. I braced myself for his Lu-suvius eruption, but it came from my mother. She charged over and grabbed the girl’s left hand.

“You proposed?” My mother spoke only to Xing, as if his fiancée weren’t human. “Even though you know we disapprove? How could you disgrace us like this?”

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” Xing’s fiancée said, clearly lying. “I’m Esther.”

Her response shocked me like a pulse of electricity. Even after all that had transpired, she had taken the high road.

I ran over on the heels of my father, hoping to be able to do something, even if it was merely being a buffer.

My mother’s eyes scanned over Esther, the scowl on her face deepening when her pupils passed over the brown highlights in Esther’s hair. I could hear her in my head, clear as if she had spoken the familiar words aloud. Only criminals dye their hair. I found myself hoping that Esther didn’t have any other strikes, like a tattoo or multiple piercings.

My father was surprisingly calm, which was scarier than Lu-suvius. “Xing, your mother and I are so disappointed in you. If you marry her, that will be it. No chance of reconciliation. Forget our address, our faces, our names. You’re dead to us.” He gave me the eyeball. “All of us.”

I hunched, wanting to disappear.

By now Nǎinai had grabbed her walker and made her way over. She waved a shaky, accusatory finger at Esther. “She-devil!”

I waited for Yilong to rein her in, but she stepped forward and put her hands on her hips, joined forces.

I should’ve known better. Yet after seeing Esther in her perfectly smooth, human flesh, everything was jumbled.

Nǎinai was