The Remake (Second Chance Flower Shop #4) - Noelle Adams Page 0,32

by the length of the lead. But Fitz was walking toward her too, holding out one arm as the dog pulled against the grip.

When the two of them reached her bench, Theodore went through a series of jerky spasms as he tried to restrain himself from jumping up on her ecstatically. (Matthew had been training him not to jump, which he knew now but still had trouble remembering when he was greeting someone he really liked... which was everyone.) Belinda leaned down to rub his head, ears, and muzzle. “Hey, fella. Are you getting a special walk today?”

Theodore turned two circles in his glee, which only led to his lead getting tangled. Fitz extricated the three of them from the mess and then sat down on the bench beside Belinda. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she replied, giving him a sidelong look as she tried to interpret his expression. “I thought you were making deliveries.”

“Just two. Got ’em done already.”

“Oh.”

“Not working today?”

“I was. But I wasn’t getting much done, so I thought some fresh air would help.”

He nodded, looking at her for a minute and then turning his head to focus on Theodore, who was investigating the mysteries of an anthill he’d just discovered.

Belinda waited. Reminded herself that she wasn’t going to make the moves here. She couldn’t demand that he tell her how he was feeling. No good would come of that at all.

“I’m sorry,” Fitz said, slanting his eyes back up to her. He rubbed at his beard and then the back of his neck. “That everything is weird and awkward now.”

“It’s okay. It’s inevitable, I guess.”

“Is it?”

She shrugged. “To tell you the truth, I don’t know. I’ve never done this before.”

“Me either. But it feels like I made a mistake and that you’re paying for it too. And I’m sorry for that.”

It was as naked a confession as she’d ever heard from him before. He looked stiff. Uncomfortable. But sincere. “It’s fine,” she said, giving him the truth in return. “You didn’t do anything wrong. But I do wish we could magically go back to the way we were before. Because... I liked that. I know I didn’t act that way, but I did.”

“Yeah. Me too. I wish we could go back. I wish I’d never...” He trailed off before he finished a sentence that would have hurt her.

She finished it for him. “You wish you’d never had sex with me.”

“No!” He turned to face her more fully. “That’s not what I wish. I wouldn’t have missed out on that for anything.”

The clench in her chest loosened a little. “Okay. I’m glad. I feel the same way. Then what do you wish?”

“I wish I was different. I wish I could... ask you for more, offer you more. I’ve been crazy about you for years, and now that—”

“What?” She was so distracted that she interrupted his earnest declaration. “You’ve been crazy about me for years?”

He blinked. “Of course I have. Didn’t you know that?”

“Of course I didn’t know that! Why would I know that?”

“Wasn’t it...?” He looked utterly bewildered. “Wasn’t it obvious? Everyone else seems to have known.”

She choked on what might have been a laugh. “Then I guess I’m totally clueless because I didn’t know. I mean, I figured you were attracted since we were so good... in bed together. And I know you liked me well enough. But if you were crazy about me, then why would you...?” She didn’t let herself finish the question. It wasn’t in her nature to hold back, but she wasn’t going to force this moment to its crisis.

She wasn’t.

He sighed thickly and leaned back against the bench, extending his legs at an angle since Theodore had settled right in front of him, nose in the dirt. “I told you my whole family died.”

“Yes. It’s terrible. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“Thank you. I guess I’m used to it now. It’s been a lot of years. But before it happened, I was different. I had a stressful job. I worked really hard. Everyone depended on me. I had a lot of pressure and commitments and responsibility. And after it happened, I just... couldn’t.”

“Couldn’t what?”

“Do any of it. Take on any sort of commitment or responsibility. Not even a regular job. I’m not sure why. I know it was irrational. But it was the only way I could deal with it. Be someone else. And never carry the weight of...”

“Life? Other people?”

“Yeah.” He reached out to smooth back a strand of hair that was