Rejected (Shadow Beast Shifters #1) - Jaymin Eve Page 0,78

much harder to search without a directory.

In the ones I’d found, though, the details were quite sparse.

A few facts I had learned: the Shadow Realm was actually the most similar realm to Earth, in regard to structure. They had masses of land, bodies of water, and lots of inhabitants who enjoyed sun, surf, and snow. Depending on where they lived. But there was a darkness in this land that was not in ours. An actual underbelly of shadow creatures that were considered lower level, controlled by the royals. Those with the magic and power—like Shadow himself—kept them as guards, pets, and amusement. Which made my theory about him just pretending to need my help to contain them way more plausible.

Not knowing Shadow’s real name, I couldn’t tell if he was referenced in these books, but there were a lot of mentions of the royal family, their arranged marriages, and the duties they undertook in each of their lands. He had to be a royal; there was just no way he could have the power he did otherwise, unless Inky somehow powered him.

The worst part was none of the books detailed the spell on the door or why the Shadow Realm had been cut off from the Solaris System.

Someone knew, though… I wasn’t asking the right questions.

How did I touch it?

That in and of itself might have been the greatest mystery of all, since it was fairly clear that only those born of the Shadow Realm could usually access its powerful underbelly of energy. But I did have one working theory that it was my connection to the Shadow Beast. Shifters were born of him, and maybe in my pain, my soul had reached into an ancient connection between shifter and beast. And then between beast and the world he’d originated from.

Dropping the book, I closed my eyes, searching for a way to touch the realm again. Recalling the pain of Torin’s rejection, it was less intense; I’d grown accustomed to living with the loss, so how could I replicate those emotions and the way my vision doubled over, as it had been known to do in the past...

I slammed upright in bed, books scattering everywhere.

Throughout my life, when the bullying or attacks had been at their worst, I’d had this slight doubling over of my vision. An event I’d hidden from the world, pretending I hadn’t been losing my mind, when in reality I knew it wasn’t normal. Had that been me tapping into Shadow and through him the Shadow Realm all along?

To replicate it, though, I would have to put myself in a position where I genuinely feared for my life or suffered intense abuse. Weirdly enough, despite his asshole tendencies, it hadn’t happened with Shadow yet, and that meant I needed someone else.

No doubt one of the worlds could create moments of terror. What had Shadow said about Faerie…? What they do to Earthlings who stumble into their world makes me look like a fucking saint.

Faerie might be the world for me to try, and knowing Len, he could help me navigate it so I didn’t actually end up dead. He was Shadow’s friend, so surely, if I explained what I needed, he’d help with this mission. But would it truly be enough to bring on my double vision if I was with someone who might protect me? It was so hard to predict what might trigger the double sight, and forcing it felt like an invitation for disaster.

By the time morning arrived, I was no closer to a conclusion about what to do to bring on the double vision, but I had added a bunch of new theories to obsessively mull over for days. Night well spent. But today, I had a bet to win.

With that in mind, I dragged myself out of bed and got dressed in my regular clothes. I wasn’t about to wander around naked to win a bet—not yet anyway—and in all honesty, I was hoping to find a connection before I had sex. It would be nice if I could lose my virginity to someone I was genuinely attracted to, with a personality that didn’t make me want to stab them.

So my task was to talk to as many of the visitors as I could, and see whom I felt a connection with. Then, even if Shadow was watching, he’d see I wasn’t doing anything different than before, and maybe after a week or so, he’d give up caring. So that was