Redesigning Fate (Revive #1) - A. M. Wilson Page 0,86
at me with eyes full of regret.
“DJ?” Shock fills my voice.
“DJ?” Carly repeats incredulously.
“Marlena,” he replies, quiet, despondent.
How I manage not to faint, or freak the fuck out, I will never know. There before me stands the missing piece of myself I haven’t seen in four years. The last human being from my past I had hoped wouldn’t let me down. Who walked out and tore the last bits of functionality from the only family I ever had. Here stands my brother who I never thought I’d see ever again. Much to my dismay and disgust, he’s standing here, looking regretfully up at me, watching, waiting.
“What do you want?” I manage to snarl in a notch above a whisper.
“I’m here to talk to you. I have some things I need to say to you.”
“I don’t want to talk to you. Why would you ever think I’d want to waste my time hearing what you have to say?” My hands clench and relax repeatedly, grabbing fistfuls of air at my sides.
“Please. I need to apologize. Give you some closure that I’m sure you never had.”
“You have no right to assume what I need or don’t need!” My blood boils at his assumption. He’s right. I’ve never had the closure I probably really need, but the fact he shows up here now that he’s ready to give it to me pisses me off more than I have ever felt. He abandoned me at a time in my life when I needed him most. He was my last hope, and as much as I try not to, if he hasn’t left, I wouldn’t have met Travis. None of this would be happening to me. He doesn’t deserve to explain himself on my time.
“You’re right. I don’t. But I think it will help. The both of us.”
If I had been alone, I would have slammed the door in his face. However, Carly is here, and once again, that comforts me, although I can’t help wishing in the back of my mind that it had been Elias here tonight.
I turn towards the door, stepping back over the threshold. Cocking my head over my shoulder, I bark one command at him.
“Come.”
There’s no reason for me to turn around and lead him inside. I know he’ll follow. He is the one who invited himself here. Which reminds me of my first question. Grabbing the bottle of wine from the table, I head back into the living room where Carly is eavesdropping with rapt attention. Slipping back into my seat on the couch, I fill my empty glass of wine, sucking it down before filling it once again.
“How did you find out where I live?” Yes. First question. I may or may not be trying to prolong the inevitable, hearing the painful details of his confession.
He rubs his neck nervously as he stands awkwardly in my living room. He’s clean-shaven, the dark hair I also inherited buzzed short to his scalp. His clothes are new and clean as well. For some reason, I imagined him rough, dirty, and homeless in the rare moments I’d let my mind wonder about what he was doing. I tried to keep that part of my life locked up tightly, but there were times, when the alcohol was dry and I was cold and lonely inside, that my brain would take off and wonder what life could have been like if he’d waited for me. Where he went after he left. What did he make of himself the moment he walked out of that door? If I wished for anything in my entire life, it was that when he left, he found the happiness we both so desperately sought. I may be pissed, hurt, regretful, but deep down I know he was escaping the same painful past as me.
Now, he looks at me with those chocolate brown hollow eyes before he speaks, “Our mother.”
My hands cover my mouth as I gasp. “You saw mom? When?”
“Earlier today. You need to understand, I have a lot of apologizing to do. I would have started with you, but I had no way to find you. I needed mom would point me in the right direction.”
“Oh yeah, and what did you have to say to our dear mother?” I ask, my voice venomous as I try to control the rage. How dare he show up here, to my home, to my safe haven?
He scrubs his hand over his face. He needs to hurry it up, or I’m