Red Nights - Shari J. Ryan Page 0,64

growing anger in my eyes when he stops talking…his adam’s apple does this little dance into the crook of his neck. “That came out wrong. I mean, you need time to grieve and heal. It’s a lot for anyone to wrap their head around. Do you really think rushing back to work and dating is the right thing to do?” My tension eases a little. At least I’ve lost the urge to hit him. “Liss, look. I love you. I care about you. You may not be mine to worry about any more, but I always will, whether you like it or not.” Blake used to call me Liss; that’s why Tanner does it. They’re the only two. Now he’s the only one. And I don’t really want the reminder right now.

“Why did we break up?” I know it’s completely out of left field and has nothing to do with what we’re talking about, but why was Blake so headstrong on us not being together? I want to know the truth. I want to know every single goddamn truth right now.

“You broke up with me,” he says, like it’s such a simple explanation.

“But why did Blake not want us together?” For the number of times I begged Blake to talk to me about it, and for the number of times I sat down, attempting to engage in a heart-to-heart with him, he would never say more than Tanner wasn’t good for me, that he had a bad reputation with the women he’s dated. It worried him. I questioned him until I was blue in the face, but that was all I ever got.

“He thought I had some kind of track record,” he says. I keep my eyes locked on him with intensity, not bowing down or backing away from this answer I’ve wanted for so long. Tanner won’t look at me. He just tears away at a napkin. “He thought I just wanted to get with you…like that…too.”

“And did you?” I ask directly.

“Of course not,” he says, sounding pained. “Blake didn’t want me touching his sister. It was a very brotherly thing for him to feel.”

“It always just seemed like there was more to it than that.” Blake didn’t act out of haste, and he hardly got worked up about anything.

“It didn’t matter; I fell in love with you. And rather than ruffling Blake’s feathers, you broke up with me. I get it. He’s your brother and family comes first. It just really sucked for me.”

It sucked for me too, but something in my gut told me to listen to Blake at the time. I had just moved home from school when this happened; it wasn’t like I was looking to settle down or anything. I was getting my life together and starting my career. Tanner was a great boyfriend, but focusing on the restaurant made it easy to walk away from anything else that took up my time. Afterward, I didn’t allow myself to feel the pain from the breakup. I just filled the void with work. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to ruin your friendship with Blake, and rather than prolong something that would likely end the way it did anyway, I decided not to drag things out. I thought I was doing the noble thing.”

Tanner leans back in his seat and folds his hands behind his head.” You never had hope for us?” I have to look away from him because I hate that I’m being forced to hurt him all over again.

“I was starting at the restaurant; I was focused on that, and Blake was upset. I didn’t really see things going too far between us. I’m sorry.” And I really am. Maybe if the situation were different, and I was older, and Blake hadn’t made such a big deal about it, I would have considered the future. But it didn’t happen like that.

“You never did take my feelings into consideration,” he says, coldly. “You only cared about Blake’s feelings. Maybe you saved my friendship with him, but it ruined us.” He leans forward, now grabbing his coffee, his fingers squeezing around the cup so hard the lid pops off. “I loved us, Liss. We were so good together. I mean, do you know what I’d do to relive that night in Newport?”

The memory of Newport tugs at my heart just a little. It was our first real date. God, was it awkward at first. After being friends for so long, we knew it would