Red Nights - Shari J. Ryan Page 0,19

show, then turn back at him and sigh. “Well,” I say, stalling for more than a few seconds. “I’d have to have a boyfriend in order for that to happen. You don’t need to worry.”

“No one likes me either, don’t feel bad,” he says, picking the pace back up.

I am going to trip if I don’t stop trying to look at his dimples.

“You do have a lady,” I correct him. I laugh. I really miss laughing. The way it feels in my stomach and in my chest, the warmth it brings me.

“Touché. And might I say, you are now officially the coolest chick I’ve met in a very, very long time.” He must have bad taste in women then.

“And may I say, we’ve walked past five coffee shops.”

“You may. And I’m not sure I really care.” He surprises me when his hand cups around my elbow, stopping us in the middle of the sidewalk again. “Can I see you tonight? Somewhere other than the park?” He’s asking me out. Is it inappropriate for me to say yes less than a week after Blake died? It feels wrong, but if he were here and knew I wasn’t going out with Tanner, he’d be all for it. I think.

“I don’t know.”

“Too soon?” he asks.

Life’s short. Too short. He’s made me smile and laugh. Maybe I owe it to myself to take a pity break, especially considering I’ll probably be evicted from Aspen’s life within the next hour or so. “No, I’d like that.”

“Great. Honestly, I just really need my coat back.” His devilish grin makes my heart dip into my stomach. Playing into his words, I press my fist into his pec.

Holy hard chest…

“Meet me at Rasta Man Coffee at six…is that okay?” he asks.

I have no idea if it is or it isn’t.

I guess I’ll find out at six.

CHAPTER FIVE

MAYBE IT’S MY LUCKY DAY; Aspen left at some point in the time I’ve been gone, which sort of means I’m off the hook for the time being. Part of me wants to get this over with, and part of me is hoping the situation will magically fix itself. I know that won’t happen.

I try to drown my thoughts in the shower. I wish I could just wash my pain away. I’m so angry with everyone, for reasons I can’t even understand. I’m guessing it’s a natural part of grieving, but for each minute I endure this stress, I want to move farther and farther away from the people who remind me of the life I lived before the fire. I’m even beginning to hate the way I sound in my own head, and the more I admit it to myself, the worse it feels.

Maybe I just want to run away from myself.

I step out of the anxiety-laced steamy shower, feeling dirtier than ever. And the feeling only worsens when I hear Aspen moving around the apartment. She’s back, and now I have to face her. I know it’s inevitable, but I need to stall a little longer.

Drying my hair and styling it in large, chunky waves has taken up a good amount of time. Maybe she left again. I can only hope. I shut the hair dryer off, waiting and listening for silence. But no; there’s music playing in her room. More stalling. I continue with my cosmetics and slip into a pair of black leggings and a long plaid blouse.

And…that’s it.

But now that I’m done polishing myself up for tonight, I might not have enough time to talk to her. I glance down at my watch, wishing that were actually the case.

I slip out of the bathroom, hoping to make it to the door without her noticing. I’ll happily sit in front of the coffee shop for the next half hour if it means I can avoid her right now.

But I’m not even halfway across the hall when I feel Aspen on my heels. “Whoa—look at you!” she squeals. “Where are you going looking all foxy and stuff?”

“Oh, nowhere. Just out for a bit.” I try to fend her off, but as usual with Aspen, I know my efforts are useless.

She grabs me by the shoulder and spins me around. “Felicity, what is going on with you? You’ve been avoiding me and you won’t tell me a thing about what you’ve been up to. Have I done something to make you upset? Because it sure feels like I have. We’ve always told each other everything.” Always? Well, I guess she’s