Red Nights - Shari J. Ryan Page 0,11

worst moment of my entire life.

And this is all my fault.

Dad took us all to Blake’s favorite burger joint for dinner. It was a nice idea…until we walked in and the hostess asked where Blake was. He ate at this restaurant twice a week. I don’t think it was on Dad’s agenda to announce Blake’s death to an entire restaurant. But when the hostess asked what happened, I told her. “I unintentionally started a fire. Blake died.” I don’t know how many times I’ve repeated that statement, but I don’t cry when I say it any more. The words are almost robotic.

Dinner is quiet. We’re all kind of looking at each other with a zombie-like gaze. I can’t stop asking myself how this happened. Why this happened. Why do bad things happen to good people?

Aspen and I slide into Tanner’s car; she’s in the back and I’m in the passenger seat, my face leaning up against the window. He glances over every few seconds, but I’m not sure what he’s looking for. “Can I do anything for you?” he asks.

“Just take us back to Aspen’s, please.”

We pull off to the side of the road in front of Aspen’s apartment. I keep my focus locked on the road in front of us, knowing I don’t really have a reason to see Tanner again after tonight, which makes this awkward and somewhat painful. It’s amazing how quickly feelings can return. “Can I come in for a bit?” he asks. “This sucks, Liss. I just don’t want to go home yet.” I ponder the idea, and then realize I won’t be able to run off alone and indulge in my ever-growing nicotine addiction if I agree.

“Of course you can,” Aspen chirps from the back seat.

“Actually, I think I just need to veg out for a while,” I say. “Rain check?” The look on his face makes me feel like I just ripped his heart out all over again. But I can’t do it. Not tonight. I need to be alone. And I need everything that comes along with it.

“Totally cool. I get it.”

But he doesn’t. He’s going home to an empty house, and I’m going upstairs with Aspen. I feel like an ass. “I’ll give you a call tomorrow. You know, to see how you’re holding up. Okay?”

A tiny smile tugs at my lips. I used to love his determination—the way he didn’t give up. “Sure. I’d like that.” He leans over, giving me a quick peck on the cheek. “Take care of her tonight, Aspen. Promise?” He looks over his shoulder into the backseat. Aspen, who has her hands clasped together against her chest and a cheesy grin to accessorize, nods emphatically.

No. She’s going to bed. And I’m running away again.

“Dude, he definitely still cares about you,” Aspen says, trudging up the creaking wooden stairs. “I’m dying to know why you two broke up. I’m guessing there has to be some crazy story behind all of this.” She stops in the middle of the stairwell, and I almost crash into her. “I’m your friend. I’m supposed to know this stuff.”

We weren’t friends during the time I was with Tanner, though; doesn’t that kind of excuse me from opening up about past boyfriends? “It’s a really long story, and I’m emotionally drained right now.” I’m hoping that she’ll drop it and continue up the stairs.

She doesn’t.

She plops down on the step as if it were her sofa. We’re literally ten steps away from her door. “Talking always makes me feel better.” I say nothing. “There was just this high level of emotional energy between you too…that’s all,” she says, resting her arms over her knees.

“Probably because this is the most amount of time I’ve spent with Tanner in the past year, and something about it doesn’t feel right.” I know how Blake felt about us being together, especially after spending six months trying to break us up. “Tanner and I didn’t quite keep in touch the way we promised to, but I saw him now and again when he came over to hang out with Blake.

“But why did you break up?” she whines.

“If I tell you the basics will you drop this forever…please?” I beg. This is never going to work. The girl lives in a romance novel.

“Why you gotta be so cruel to me, Felicity?” She lets out an exaggerated sigh mixed with a little laughter. “Okay, spill.”

The basics. How do I sum up those six months in one sentence? “I needed