Red Hot Reunion - Bella Andre Page 0,44
to live again.
She dialed Kate’s cell phone and walked outside, hoping the warm sun and her best friend could put her to rights again.
“Emma, honey, are you still in Napa?” Kate asked.
“I am,” she said, trying to sound normal and upbeat and failing miserably.
“What’s wrong?”
Emma’s throat grew tight. “Jason’s been wonderful. Amazing. I feel so free in Napa. You wouldn’t believe the people we met yesterday. The vintners, the painters, the farmers. Everyone is so happy here.
Living their passion.”
Everyone but me,she thought, the weight of her e-mails and voice mails and untold numbers of faxes piling up on her slim shoulders.
“It sounds amazing, Emma. Just what you needed, right? Just what you were hoping for.”
“Oh yes. I need it so badly.” Emma lowered her voice. “I’d completely forgotten what it’s like to have fun.” Knowing Kate would understand, on a whisper she added, “To be a passionate woman. To crave a man’s touch.”
“Don’t blame yourself, honey, with a husband like Steven how could you have possibly felt passion? Or craved his touch? Yuck.”
“But that’s just it. I do blame myself. I chose him. I chose my life.”
“So change it. Just like you’re doing right now.”
Emma shook her head. “It’s not that simple, Kate.”
“It is that simple. You screwed up in college. You know it. Jason knows it. Fine. But now you’ve got the chance to live the life you should have had all along.”
Emma insisted, “You wouldn’t believe how many clients are trying to reach me regarding loans and refinances. My parents have left half a dozen messages. Who am I fooling? I’m never going to be able to change my life. Never.”
Kate snorted. “Do I need to come up there and smack some sense into you? Of course you can change your life. You already have. You’re in Napa, aren’t you? With Jason. This is only the beginning.”
Sensing her dismay, Marvin jogged over to her side and Emma sat down on a low rock wall to stroke his fur. Yet another thing she didn’t want to have to leave. Not just Jason, but his big silly dog too.
Kate took in her silence. “You’re not calling because you’re upset about your job, are you? It’s Jason, isn’t it?”
Emma could barely say the words aloud. “I’ve been throwing myself at him.” She waited for Kate’s condemnation, especially since her best friend had warned her to take it slow.
“Good for you.”
“Excuse me?”
Kate laughed. “It’s about time you joined the rest of us girls and gave in to the dark side. Women tend to throw themselves at hot guys. We can’t help ourselves.”
“It’s not a good thing, Kate!”
“Why the hell not? The sex is great, right?”
“Right.”
“You’re having fun, aren’t you?”
“Of course I am, but you told me to take it slow.”
“Hey, if the getting’s good, I say go out and get it. Forget I ever mentioned slow. Slow is for wimps. And you are definitely not a wimp. Besides, it’s not like he’s exactly pushing you away, is he?”
Emma giggled. Jason had jumped her bones repeatedly, with little to no provocation. “He’s definitely not saying no.”
“I think you’re doing both of you a big favor. He’s too much of a macho, pride-ball to give in to what he wants—which is you—but then you came along and took the decision away from him.”
“What if he thinks all we’re doing is having meaningless fun together?” Emma said, giving voice to her biggest worry. She knew Jason wanted her. That much was obvious. But for how long? “I don’t know how much longer I can hide my true feelings from him.”
“Which are?”
“I love him, Kate. You know that. We all know it.”
Kate sighed. “I don’t know what to say, honey. I hope he’ll be man enough to love you back, but…”
Emma finished her sentence. “I shouldn’t count on it, should I?”
Kate’s silence said it all. And as Emma hung up and went inside to take a shower, she didn’t know if she felt better or worse. Because there was definitely no denying that every time she and Jason made love, another protective layer melted away from her heart. In no time at all, her love for Jason wouldn’t be buried way down deep anymore. It would be right there on the surface, in plain sight for the world to see.
Only this time, if he rejected her like she had rejected him, Emma didn’t know where she’d run.
Because there’d be no place left to go.
Jason’s meeting in the city was long and intense. His last cookbook had