Red Hot Rebel - Olivia Hayle Page 0,43
and waiting for the one, not that there’s anything wrong with that. But I don’t need that level of commitment. I just want to… God, Rhys.” I push my hair back. “I just want there to be trust. To go slow. To laugh. And to be seen.”
He nods slowly, the cards abandoned between us. “I get that.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. You don’t like the pressure.”
I breathe out a sigh of relief. “Exactly.”
“I also think you might be too kind for your own best interest.”
“What do you mean?”
He leans back against the couch, arms over his chest. “You can tell a man you don’t want to sleep with him. You can tell him mid-sex that you want to stop. You can make him wait ten, fifteen, twenty dates. You don’t owe anybody anything, and fuck them and their expectations if that makes them annoyed. You don’t have to please them in any way.”
It’s like he’s put his finger on my pulse and calculated it expertly, all in a matter of minutes. And from the expression on his face, he knows it.
“It’s one thing to know that intellectually,” I say, “and another to do it. I clam up at the idea of it, of having to explain this to someone I’ve just met.”
“Of course you do. It’s scary, but I know you’re brave enough.”
“You do?”
He snorts. “Yes. You agreed to this crazy trip with no one else to accompany you but me, didn’t you? And you’d never left the country before?”
I wet my lips. “No, I hadn’t.”
“So yes, Ivy, you’re brave enough.”
I glance toward the giant, linen-clad bed in the lodge. Think about all the different things I want to know, to see, to experience. The comfortable sense of exploration I’ve sought.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Without winning a round? I don’t know. Seems greedy.” But Rhys is smiling crookedly, so I go ahead.
“How was your first time?”
He barks a laugh. “Not what I was expecting.”
“Too personal?”
“I think we’ve already strayed deep into personal territory tonight. What’s another step, right?” He loosens a long breath. “I’m not sure you’ll enjoy my answer.”
“Why not?”
“Well, for the first thing, it was spectacularly unromantic.” He raises an eyebrow. “It wasn’t what you described at all. It was more… how did you put it? Like getting my ticket to Sexville. Very poetic, by the way.”
I groan. “Don’t tell anyone I said that.”
“I’ll try my very best not to,” Rhys says seriously, “but it might end up in my memoir, when I inevitably write one.”
“You think those words are worth preserving for posterity?”
He grimaces, but his words are sage. “That’s for posterity to decide.”
“How noble.”
“That’s me.”
I rest my head on my hand. “So it wasn’t spectacular?”
“No. It was at a party in my hometown. She was two grades above me, more experienced. We didn’t talk much before, during or after.”
“That sound fantastic,” I deadpan.
He rolls his eyes at me. “It was all right, but I reckon we’ve both had far better since then.”
“That reminds me, I’m curious. When was your last kiss before me?”
Rhys shakes his head. “We’re supposed to be talking about you.”
“Well, I’m switching things around. It’s only fair after all the things I’ve said.”
He seems to consider it, whether he should answer or not, but when he does it’s unquestionably honest. “Two and a half weeks ago.”
“Wow.” I look away, comparing his response to mine. We really are different people, at least in this way. It makes my cheeks heat up again, and this time, it’s true embarrassment. And I’d been hoping that the kiss had been as powerful for him as it had for me.
“Ivy? Hey, look at me.”
I do. His gaze softens, deep and dark and enthralling. “Not only do I have more experience than you, but I’m what, seven years older? Stop comparing yourself to everyone who managed to get a ticket, all right?”
“To Sexville?”
“Yes,” he says, lips curving, “to Sexville.”
I smile too. “Will I get a share of the royalties?”
“What?”
“Of your memoir, if you end up using that phrase?”
Rhys nods. “Of course. I’d never cheat a fellow artist out of their due.”
“Thank you.” I look down at his hand, resting close to mine along the back of the couch. I really, really, really want to find out what it would feel like. Nothing else, nothing more, just… learn his body the way I’m starting to learn him.
Rhys clears his throat. “Perhaps we should go to sleep soon.”
“We have to work tomorrow,” I agree.
Neither of us moves, though.
“I don’t think it’s fair that I