Red After Dark (Blackwood Security #13) - Elise Noble Page 0,103
back to the house, everyone assumed I’d arrived that afternoon. Diamond, I’m sorry. If I could turn back time, I’d do things differently.”
Of course he would, now that he knew actions had consequences.
“We’d all do things differently. But I can’t just forgive and forget this, Black. The initial fuck-up in the heat of the moment, perhaps, but not the lies afterwards. All this time, we’ve worked as a team because our trust was absolute. But now? You’ve shattered it. How can I put my life in your hands when I no longer have that belief in you?”
He didn’t have an answer to that, but I had another question.
“How many more times have you lied to me? Skated around the truth? Thrown a few fibs my way?”
The silence stretched along with my nerves. How bad would this be?
“Once or twice, I told you a dress didn’t suit you when in reality, it looked too good. And I might have thrown away a couple of gifts Gideon sent you from Paris. And I used to take the Christmas cards you wrote for James out of the mail every year and replace them with something more…corporate. I think that’s it. And I had Gideon relocated to Paris, but you already guessed about that.”
“You think that’s it?”
“That’s it,” he said with a little more finality. “What can I do, Emmy? The thought of losing you…”
He turned away, and for a moment, it was me who felt guilty. Then my resolve hardened again. The other stuff Black had done was petty, but the level of maliciousness levelled at Alaric had been something else.
“I can deal with most of the stupid shit you do. The control freakery. The jealousy. Even you drugging me before our second wedding. But not the lies, Black.”
“So where does this leave us?” His voice softened to a whisper. “Don’t you love me anymore?”
Good questions, both of them. My heart would always love Black. Alaric was right—we were destined to be together. He completed me. But I couldn’t just carry on as if nothing had happened.
“I love you, but right now, I don’t like you very much.”
“That’s still more than I deserve.”
“Probably. I wish I had more control over my feelings when it comes to you, but sadly I don’t.”
“If it’s any consolation, I think you cracked a rib last night.”
“Good. And if you want my trust again, you’ll have to earn it back. Do you realise what a horrible position you’ve put me in? I’ll either have to cover for you and lie to Alaric or shop my own husband.”
“I’ll never be able to apologise enough.”
“No, you won’t. Words won’t cut it.”
“So what do you want me to do?”
“Fix it. Fix the mess you created.”
“You mean get Alaric his old job back? I could try to pull some strings… And I can give him the money he lost out on.”
“Oh, no. No way. This is one problem you can’t throw cash at, Chuck. It’s not about Alaric’s job, and it’s not about his inheritance. I mean fix his reputation.”
“How can I do that?”
I stepped forward and patted Black on the arm, the first time I’d touched him since the argument.
“It’s for you to find a way.”
A single nod.
“You’ll also have to change. You want me to trust you? Then you’ll have to trust me too. Slay that green-eyed fucking monster.”
Another nod.
“And call Sloane. You owe her more than an email.”
“Okay.”
“Plus I’ll be away with Alaric the week after next. We’re going to Penngrove because someone has to look for that bloody painting.”
Black took a deep breath. “And in the meantime?”
“I’ll be at my house. Feel free to call if you need anything work-related.”
I tore myself away before I got tempted to stay. Black needed to know I was serious. He couldn’t crap all over people I cared about and expect there to be no repercussions.
Yes, I’d survive alone.
CHAPTER 41 - BETHANY
WHAT A ROLLER coaster of a month, and we were barely halfway through. I still had to endure the wedding of the decade, as my sister’s matron of honour had billed it. And no, that wasn’t me. I wasn’t even a bridesmaid. Priscilla had, and I quote, “saved those spots for my friends.” I didn’t mind in the slightest—my sister made Bridezilla look positively charming—but I was getting a bit sick of all the “Ooh, Bethie, why aren’t you in the wedding party?” nosiness as we waited outside the church. I hated being the centre of attention, and people kept staring