Asten and Ahmose asked what was wrong, I kept my feelings from them. They didn’t know how desperate I was to get out. To escape. How I would sacrifice anything, including my relationship with them, even the very cosmos, to be with her.
“She doesn’t know that without her, there is no hope for me. No life. Only death and darkness. She thought I was brave in sacrificing myself in the pyramid, but if Anubis had given me just a few more minutes alone with her, I would have used all the power at my disposal, even the Eye of Horus, to hide the two of us in the farthest reaches of the cosmos. If I’d known that she would have agreed, I would have gladly spent my life trying to avoid the gods just to be with her. After my death, escape to the netherworld was my only option. Since my leap, I’ve used every power at my disposal to prevent her from sacrificing herself for me, and yet a part of me is glad that we are still connected and that she still wants to be with me as much as I want to be with her. I’d do anything for her. Anything. This was the reason I refused the weighing of my heart.”
When Osiris was done speaking, the room was silent. A trail of tears leaked down my face. If Amon had asked me to run away, I think I would have gone. Especially if it meant he didn’t have to die. I wasn’t sure what that made me that I would put my relationship, the life of one man, the man I loved, over the well-being of all the souls who lived in the cosmos, but it was something to consider. It was Anubis who finally broke the silence.
“A heart scarab usually prevents the owner’s heart from testifying against him at the judgment.”
Ma’at replied quietly. “In this case we are hearing the echo of his thoughts through Lily and Tia. Amon’s true feelings are summoned forth through their connection. Is there anything else forthcoming that pertains to this question?”
Osiris screwed up his face like he did have something to say, but he was trying to hold it back. Beads of sweat broke out over his brow. Then, finally, he said, “Lily is in possession of my ren.” The god panted after speaking those words and looked up at Ma’at with alarm. Her expression echoed his. In truth, all the gods, including Asten and Ahmose, seemed awestruck, and not in a good way.
“What does that mean?” I asked warily. “What’s a ren?”
Asten was actually the one who explained. “Not even we are privy to Amon’s ren. It is his true name. To utter a true name is to bring life to something.”
“Or death,” Ahmose said. “It gives you absolute power over the person.”
Everyone stood there staring at me like I had just grown a third eye. “Well, I don’t have it,” I said, gesturing wildly with my hands. “I think I’d be aware of it if I did.”
“Amon’s scarab speaks the truth, Lilliana Young,” Ma’at said. “It cannot do otherwise on the scales of judgment. This is a sign,” she added, gesturing wildly to the other gods in the room.
“We don’t know that yet,” Anubis cautioned. “It could be that he just wanted to share it with her. It doesn’t necessarily mean what you think it does.”
“If Amon is bound by the scales, then so am I,” I said. “So you know I’m telling the truth when I say I don’t have it. If I do, then I’m unaware of it.”
“Do you really think this might have something to do with the prophecy?” Anubis asked.
“There is no way to tell,” Nephthys answered.
“What prophecy?” I asked, looking at each god in succession. They all looked reluctant to speak. When I glanced in Asten’s direction, he gave a slight shrug.
“There is an ancient prophecy regarding chaos,” Ma’at explained. “It says that there will come a time when chaos reigns the cosmos. Harmony will be lost. Order will fragment. The power of the gods will be trapped in a spider’s web. That is the time when the Liberator will appear. But she will not be able to save all that is lost. A great sacrifice will need to be made to bring the balance back. She will use a true name to swallow the sun and it will disappear forever.”