Reclaim - Aly Martinez Page 0,72
jaw. “You know me too well.” She was on top of me, gravity doing its thing, but when she sighed, she wiggled as though it could somehow bring us closer. “I don’t trust anybody like I trust you, Cam. The minute I saw you today, sitting up front with your family, surrounded by the very same people who usually make my skin crawl, all the chaos in my head fell silent. The last few years, breathing has been a conscious effort. Every thought requires dissection, and every emotion needs to be processed and inventoried to make sure I'm moving in the right direction. But not when I’m with you. With you, I breathe and I laugh and…and I feel, Camden. Good things. And I don't even have to try. It just happens when I'm with you.”
With my heart in my throat, I rolled to the side and inched down so I could see her face.
Damp tracks streaked her cheeks, but there was a warm, content smile on her face.
I ran my palm over the top of her messy hair. “That’s love, Nora. And just so you don’t think I’m some magical genie, what you just described is exactly how I feel with you.”
“I’m learning that.”
I kissed her nose. “Good.”
“I'm not quite there yet though. I’m working hard, Cam. Healing my soul and my heart. But I still think it’s my head that needs it the most. I can’t stop thinking that I’ll never be enough for you. But I’m so selfish I can’t convince myself to let you off the hook, either.”
I squeezed her hip. “I like your hook, thank you very much. I will never ask you to let me off it. You sit there and talk about not being enough for me, but you have no idea how much I look up to you. To see everything you’ve risen above, and the fact that you’re still fighting for yourself. Fuck, that’s inspiring. It’s safe to say I have my own mountains to climb. For fuck’s sake, my dad is dead and I haven’t shed a single tear. We have different depths of problems, but your well has been deeper than most. And like a badass beast, you’re still clawing your way out. There is a solid possibility you’re going to get out of there and see that I’m not enough for you.”
“Cam,” she whispered reverently.
“Please hear me when I say this. You were enough for me when you were eleven, barefoot and saving my life from frogs. You were enough for me at twelve, yelling at me for not choosing you, because whether you understand it or not, just knowing that someone cared if I chose them changed my entire outlook on life. You were enough for me at thirteen and fourteen and fifteen and sixteen, and fuck, Nora, you have been enough for me every single day of my life. Timing is everything and we’re not there yet. But don’t you ever fucking let me go. Do you hear me? Never.”
Her shoulders shook with a cry. “I don’t deserve you.”
“I know. You deserve better. But you aren’t the only selfish one in this bed.”
She half laughed, half cried, and I hugged her tight, smoothing a hand up and down her back, hoping she knew I’d always be there for her even when I wasn’t.
“So much for leaving the heavy stuff behind tonight, huh?” she said.
“Hey, the night isn’t over yet. I still owe you thirty more almost orgasms.”
Finally, she smiled bright and white, and I hooked a leg over her hips. “Then I highly suggest you get to work, Camden Cole. The clock’s ticking.”
And wasn’t that the truth. The clock was always ticking with me and Nora. I just prayed that, after that night, it was finally counting down to a time when we could be together for more than just a night.
Between kisses and laughs, I stripped her out of her clothes while making proclamations about banning sweatpants for all of eternity. With brazen hands, I cataloged her every curve and dip, submitting them to memory as I explored her in ways that would make a porn star blush.
Or at least two virgins like us.
I found at least a handful of ways to show her my love with my fingers and my mouth, and Nora whispered countless I-love-yous I’d spend years revisiting on cold and lonely nights without her.
We didn’t make it to thirty that night, but when we both passed out, sweaty and sated, the