Once I’m alone, I punch the wall, regretting it immediately once I see the hole I left. Just like I regret making out with Natalie. She probably hates me now. “Fuck!”
I don’t know what the hell just happened a minute ago, why I slipped up and kissed her in private but what I do know is that I was not supposed to feel the way I did when seeing her kiss another guy. Far from it. I need to get my head straight before I fuck up majorly. This trip was supposed to solve my current problem, not cause a new one.
And that’s exactly what’s going to happen if I slip up again.
CHAPTER TWENTY
NATALIE
It’s the middle of the night when Madden crawls into bed beside me. Even though I’m wide awake, I close my eyes, not wanting to talk about what happened tonight. I don’t know what came over me earlier, but I do know how I feel about it, and that’s what scares me the most.
It might’ve been a mistake, but it felt anything but; at least for that split second that I didn’t allow my head to get involved. What the hell does that say about me? I have a boyfriend. I’m not just dating any random guy either, I’m dating his brother. His fucking brother. That’s the lowest of lows.
I don’t know what’s on Madden’s mind right now or how he feels about our kiss, and that’s messing with me as he lies beside me. I’m not sure why, but I hate it. I shouldn’t care whether he liked it or if he felt anything at all, but that’s all I’ve been able to think about since it happened.
Panic set in earlier and I rushed to my phone and powered it back on. I knew there was no service here and it was pointless to text Logan, but I did it anyway, needing to remind myself that I’m his. I’m not Madden’s, even though I’ve been playing the part. A role is all it is.
Natalie: I miss you. Can’t wait to get home to you.
Of course, he didn’t text back. He won’t even receive the message for another day. It sucks, because I need some form of communication with him now.
I change my focus to Madden’s heavy breathing, and I can tell he’s struggling; probably just as hard as I am over our make-out session. There’s movement behind me, and then suddenly, his arm wraps around me and I’m pulled against his body.
My heart is racing so fast that it’s hard to catch my breath, but instead of moving away, I keep my eyes closed and pretend I don’t notice the way he’s holding me.
It’s not until his fingers run through my hair and my entire body relaxes into him that I know I’m completely screwed. I’ve fallen for Madden Parker in the few days we’ve been together—having feelings I never had for his brother—and we still have another full day together before heading back to the real world.
I close my eyes, struggling with the fact that even though I should be happy, my heart hurts. I’m more confused than I’ve ever been before, and because of that, I need sleep to come.
When I wake up, the first thing on my mind is mine and Madden’s make-out session. I can’t just call it a kiss, because it was so much more than that, and if Jake hadn’t walked in to see us, more could’ve happened. That thought scares me the most.
Sure, I’d had a few drinks and was feeling a bit tipsy, but that’s no excuse for kissing him back or letting his hand explore my breasts. It’s definitely no excuse for liking it either. I screwed up, and I have to own up to it with Logan. It was wrong. Knowing Madden, he’ll probably try and take all the blame when we get home, but I won’t allow that.
“You up?” Madden’s groggy voice comes from behind me and I swear my heart skipped a beat at hearing it so close.
Despite our little fuck-up last night, I still slept in his arms the entire night. I’m not sure anymore if it was for Alana’s benefit or mine. I should’ve moved away when he crawled into bed, yet I didn’t.
“Yeah.” I roll over to face him, running a hand through my snarled hair. “Haven’t been able to sleep in hours.”
“We should talk about last night.” He sits up and reaches