is getting a little old. We both know you’re reading my messages.
11:12 P.M
Alana: Okay… fine. Ignore me now, but we both know that once you see me you’ll remember how much you truly miss me. You can deny it all you want, but we get so close to getting back together every year on this trip. I won’t give up until it happens this time. See you soon.
❤️ Alana
Everything went blurry after that, landing me right where I am at present, full of rage and regret. Not even my multiple texts to Chance last night helped distract me like I was hoping before I was able to make the mistake I did.
I growl out in frustration and toss my phone at the wall.
Melody stirs beside me, so I stand up and slip on my jeans, before disappearing into the bathroom.
Turning on the fan, I reach for my pack of smokes and light one up, before taking a seat on the edge of the tub.
This might be the last stop on our tour before I fly out to my brother’s, but we have a photoshoot that I need to get my shit together for.
The thought sends me over the edge with anxiety.
I need this break more than anything right now, and it pisses me off to no end that Alana is set on ruining it for me.
It’s because of her that I end up naked next to strange women with no control over my dick. Honestly, I should’ve blocked her a long time ago, but every damn time I tell myself I’m going to do it, I don’t. I can’t.
A part of what she said is true. I haven’t gotten over her yet… over us. That’s kind of hard to do when I’ve known her since I was twelve and we dated for seven years.
That’s why not going back to her has been the biggest battle of my life. Keeping myself occupied with countless women who I know have no chance in hell of hurting me has been my way of moving on, but it doesn’t fill the void.
She was my best friend, and she cheated on me and then walked away as if what we had built over the years meant nothing to her.
I can’t allow myself to ever get crushed by her again, because there’s a chance I won’t survive this time.
A knock at the bathroom door has me on alert. I know what’s coming next.
“Madden… you’ve been in there for a while. Want me to get you anything, or maybe run you a bubble bath? I don’t have anywhere to be today. I’m all yours for whatever you need me for. We can spend the entire day together.”
They all want to take care of the broken rock star.
“Shit…” I mumble under my breath and toss my cigarette into the toilet. “I’m fine, Melody. Just give me a few.”
“Okay,” she says through the door. “I’ll be out here waiting. Take your time.”
Releasing a breath, I walk over to the sink and splash some water on my face, before taking a good look at myself in the mirror. The dark circles under my eyes are a sign of how I truly feel: exhausted.
I have to prepare myself every time this happens to turn into the dick I always told myself I’d never become once we made it big.
But I have to do something to keep these girls from falling for me and wanting more. I learned that after the first year of touring.
When I open the door, Melody is splayed out across the bed, naked and waiting for me. She holds up a condom and bites her bottom lip. “Ready for round four?”
“I can’t.”
She gives me puppy dog eyes and crawls across the bed to get closer to where I’m standing. “You went pretty hard last night, but I’m sure you have more in you. I’ll make it easy for you and even do all the work. I think you earned it after last night.”
Needing it more now than before, I walk over to the bedside table and grab for the bottle of Jameson again. I tilt it back, probably longer than I should, before turning to face Melody as she grabs for my dick.
“No sex.” I clench my jaw, because I know I’m an asshole. “Last night should’ve never happened. I was wasted and barely even remember bringing you back to my room.”
“That’s okay.” Not giving up, she slides her hand into the top of my jeans and begins