We’ve been out here for close to an hour now and I couldn’t help but notice that Madden was quick to pour himself a drink the moment Seth cracked open a fresh bottle a bit ago.
He looked anxious, as if he’d been waiting all morning for someone to start drinking so he could too. Now that we’re around everyone else, he doesn’t seem as laidback and relaxed. He’s not the fun, carefree Madden I saw in the woods earlier, and I’m not sure how I feel about that. I liked that side of him, whether I want to admit it or not.
I didn’t think seeing him upset over his ex would bother me so much, but it does. I hate that she has the power to hurt him to the point he feels the need to drown himself in alcohol just to function around her and his friends. It’s unhealthy.
Seeing him like this makes me want to do something to change that, but I know I can’t. I’m not the right girl to be here right now. What Madden needs is someone who can truly get him over her. He needs someone who can show him it’s okay to move on, and that not every girl is going to hurt him the way she did.
He put all his trust and heart into Alana, and she crushed him. I can see why he hasn’t had anything deeper than a sexual relationship with anyone else since. I know more than anyone what it’s like to be lied to by someone you trust. It’s not easy to recover once that happens.
I look away from Jess talking and take a moment to watch Madden interacting with the guys at the picnic table next to the one us girls are eating at. Jess suggested I eat with the girls so we could chat and get to know each other. It’s been awkward, since Alana hasn’t spoken one word the entire time I’ve been sitting down. If looks could kill I would’ve been dead over twenty minutes ago.
“I don’t know about you ladies, but I’m ready to swim and work off this greasy burger. You done with that?” Jess is talking to me, but my focus is on Madden as he tilts back his drink again.
“Yeah. I’m done.”
Jess smiles and turns her attention toward the guys’ picnic table once she notices where I’m looking. Her smile widens when Madden looks at me and winks just like he has every time our gazes have locked.
“I’m surprised you haven’t melted from that wink yet, Natalie. Don’t tell Jake, but our famous rock star has the hottest wink I’ve ever seen. He must really adore you too, because every time I’ve looked over there, he’s looking right at you.”
“And I’m sure he’s also making sure I’m comfortable,” I say nervously while gathering my dirty plate and napkins. “Since it’s my first time meeting everyone and all.”
“And your last time,” Alana whispers into her cup, but I ignore her, not wanting to give her the attention she’s seeking.
“Maybe so, but it’s still cute.” Jess stands and gathers her trash before yelling over to the boys. “You boys done chit chatting like girls so we can swim?”
“Hell yes,” Seth yells back, before standing and yanking his shirt over his head. “We’ve been waiting on you girls to ask. You take forever to eat.”
“Yeah, but it won’t take me very long to kick your ass,” Jess jokes back.
Madden stands to throw his trash away, and when he walks toward me, without thinking, I meet him in the middle and wrap my arms around his neck for show. “Your ex has been stabbing me in her mind this entire time. I think I even felt it break skin once.”
“Ouch. Want me to grab your stun gun?” he teases. “We’ll see which one hurts the most.”
I laugh, before removing my arms from his neck. “Don’t even try to be adorable right now, because I’m still considering using it on you.”
He raises a brow, before taking a step back, and slowly pulls his shirt over his head. His eyes lower to his chest once he realizes where mine are focused. Not that I meant to. It happened naturally, and I hate myself for it. “Told you I’m bigger than my brother.”
I growl under my breath, but before I can give him a piece of my mind he winks and backs away to join the guys by the pool.