it up to. Him being sorry for hurting Madden isn’t going to get me back. It’s not going to change the way I look at him now that I’ve learned the truth. He hid a huge part of himself from me.
Six days was all it took for my entire world to fall apart around me, and I blame Logan for that. If it weren’t for him, his brother would’ve never spiraled down a dark road and needed me to save him. And if Madden didn’t need my help, I never would’ve fallen for him and gotten tossed aside. I hate him right now. I know that feeling will change, but not yet; not today, and probably not next week or the week after.
I finally sit back up and take care of the problem I came in here over an hour ago to fix. Then I plaster on the best content expression I can muster up to get me through the rest of this day.
“Sorry it took so long to get here.” Carla says, shutting my apartment door behind her. She looks me over, before handing me a bottle of Disaronno and a slice of cheesecake. “Figured you could use this right now.”
“Thanks.” I plop down on my couch and grab one of the empty glasses from the end table to my left, handing her one. “You really didn’t have to come here on your only day off and join me in my pity party. Like I said over the phone, I’m fine.”
“It’s okay not to be okay, Natalie.” She holds her glass out for me to pour her some amaretto. “Shit, you just broke up with your boyfriend of two years, fell for his brother, and then lost him too. This is Madden Parker we’re talking about here, babe. I know for a fact you’re not fine.”
“Maybe not,” I admit. “But I will be. It’s only been days. I’ve heard it takes what…” I tilt back my drink. “Years? I can survive that long. Or at least do my best. Which is what I’ve been doing since I got home.”
“Babe, you haven’t left your house other than to work. And don’t think I haven’t heard from Kayla about you disappearing at the hotel for hours at a time.” She stops to take a sip of her drink, before continuing. “Do you know where he is?”
I shake my head, my heart sinking to my stomach. “Not at Logan’s. That’s about all I know.”
“Do you want to know?” She stares at me, waiting for an answer I’m not sure I want to give.
“I don’t want to know,” I rush out before I can think on it too hard. “I can’t think about what he’s doing. All those girls… I can’t handle that. The thought of him going back to his old lifestyle kills me. It literally makes it hard to breathe.”
“Do you honestly think that Madden is with other girls right now, partying away as if you don’t exist after what you two went through?” She shakes her head and sets her glass down. “Girl, you haven’t seen the way that boy loves. When he loves, he gives his all. He’s one hundred percent committed.”
“What makes you think he loves me?”
She’s quiet for a moment. “Because he had sex with you sober, babe. The moment you told me that the other night, I knew he was in love with you. You’re the first and only girl since his ex. Trust me, he’s not hooking up in a hotel room with some random girl right now.”
The words ‘hooking up’ and ‘hotel room’ make me feel sick to my stomach as I think back to all the photos of him leaving with random girls in the past. “I wish I could believe that. I really do. But even if so, he shut things down. He told me we needed time and now he’s ignoring me. He didn’t even give me a choice, Carla.”
“That was him trying to protect you, Nat.” Her using Madden’s nickname for me has me setting my glass aside, my stomach hurting too much to drink any more. “You were his brother’s girlfriend for two years. He probably knew you’d feel guilty for hurting Logan and wanted to give you the proper chance to figure out if you made a mistake breaking it off with him. It’s a sticky situation. What would’ve happened had you two left together and then a week down the road you decided it was a mistake