what you wanted, but give me a chance. Maybe Brianna will come back, but if not, I’m here.”
I rub the tense muscles in my neck. “Her name is Bria.”
“Sorry. Maybe Bria will come back.” She’s not snobby about it, like Ronni. She’s actually kind of nice.
I mentally kick myself for putting us in this situation and hold out a hand. “Crew.”
She shakes. “Tiffani.”
“You really know all the stuff?”
“Ronni called me a few days ago. I’ve worked for IRL for two years as a house singer. She thought I’d be a good fit. Trust me, I won’t let you down.”
“Let’s go down the playlist,” Garrett says. As he counts us off, I hope I can get through the next few hours.
When she starts singing, my hand balls up so tightly that my fingernails draw blood. She’s good, but she’s not Bria.
The music stops. I missed my cue.
“Again, from the top,” Liam says sympathetically.
I take my mic as far away from Tiffani as I can, but the music is all around me. Her voice is all around me. She hits every note, every inflection, and I curse myself as I betray Bria and sing.
Two hours later, after Ronni and Jeremy babysit us through the entire rehearsal, Ronni pulls me aside. “I trust you’ll put yourself into it during the show.”
“I’m doing what you said, Ronni. What more do you want?”
“I want a performance. Nobody wants to see you sit on a stool and sing to the goddamn wall. Take some shots, smoke some weed. I don’t care what you have to do to make it happen as long as you make it happen.”
“I suppose you’ll be there to make sure I don’t mess up? You do realize we have a manager.”
“I’m well aware of Jeremy’s capabilities. He’s the one who gets you where you need to be. He makes sure Garrett’s drums are set up properly, the sound check gets completed, and there’s a place to park the van. But make no mistake, I run the show.”
I laugh bitterly. “I really thought it was because you were jealous over Bria, but now I know you act like this because you’re a stone-cold bitch.”
“If that’s what it takes to get things done.” She turns to Tiffani. “Great job, Tiff. You fit right in, like I knew you would. We can talk details during the ride home.”
They leave, along with Jeremy. The barn is eerily quiet as the guys stare at me.
“I know,” I say. “I screwed up. I’ve tried all week to contact her, but she won’t take my calls. She blocked me. I even followed someone into her building yesterday, but she didn’t answer her door. I sat outside for hours. I think she’s gone.”
“Can you give us a minute?” Liam asks Brad and Garrett.
They go outside.
“You have to fix this,” Liam says.
“I know, but she won’t see me.”
“You misunderstand me. She’s not the one who needs fixing. You are.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Don’t give me that shit. You’re so fucked up, you can’t see straight. And through all that fucked-up-ness you can’t see what’s right in front of you. Everyone knows you love Bria. Everyone but you and Bria, that is. But until you work your shit out, Abby will always be in your way. I’m not saying you have to forget her, but you need to let her go.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “I’m not sure I know how.”
“You’d better figure it out fast. You have to get control of this anger that’s eating you up inside. You have to figure out how to be with her and not think that what happened to Abby will happen to her, because it won’t. The world is fucked up, and there are psychos out there, but you need to reel it in before she’s gone forever.” He jabs a finger into my chest. “Do whatever the hell you have to do to make this right, and do it now.”
He leaves me alone in the barn.
I pick up my notebook and turn to the song I’ve tried a hundred times to complete. I stare at it for a long time, but there are no lyrics in my head. I can’t finish it. I slam it shut and fling it off the table. How in the hell am I supposed to fix this if I can’t finish the song?
Finally, I get off the couch. I lean down to pick up the notebook but stop when I see the page it opened to.