On The Rebound (Steinbeck U #1) - L.A. Cotton Page 0,96
him. Zach’s eyes were closed, his brows drawn tight. I wanted to smooth my fingers over his face and reassure him that whatever he was about to say didn’t matter. Too much had happened since. Declan was in a coma unlikely ever to wake again, and my mom was gone. Between us, we’d lost too much already. But maybe together, we could wade through the grief and the pain toward a place of healing.
“I was sick, remember?” he went on. “As soon I felt better, I planned on talking to you.”
My brows crinkled as I searched my memories. “I remember. I came over to see if you were okay, I was worried. But when I got there, your dad said he thought you were sleeping. He invited me to wait while he checked on you.”
Mr. Messiah had never been my biggest fan. He thought I was a distraction Zach didn’t need, and he’d never tried to hide his feelings toward me. It’s probably why Zach didn’t invite me over often and we hung out in the treehouse instead.
“He came back down and said you were sleeping, that I should probably give it a couple more days.”
“I woke up, Calli,” Zach said flatly, and I knew if I looked over at him again, his jaw would be clenched. I could hear the tension in his voice, the pain. “I came downstairs, but I heard the two of you talking. I should have just announced myself... don’t go snooping for answers you might not like, right?” He let out a bitter chuckle.
“Zach, I don’t understand.” I sat up, needing to see him. He pushed up on his elbow and gave me a sad smile.
“I heard you, Calli. I heard you tell my dad that you didn’t love me.”
I reared back, hardly able to believe my ears. “What?”
“I heard everything. There I was, ready to sacrifice myself to the thing I hated more than anything in the entire world so that we could have an easy life, so that he wouldn’t try to drive us apart, and you were telling him I meant nothing to you.”
Confusion swam through my veins because I could remember that conversation with Mr. Messiah and it went nothing like the way Zach was suggesting.
“Zach, that’s not—”
“Stop, Calli. Just stop.” He let out a frustrated sigh. “It doesn’t matter anymore. All this time, I thought I hated you. I wanted to. Fuck. I wanted to hate you so much. And then I saw you and it was like being struck by lightning. I don’t hate you, Calli, I never could. I just hated myself for trusting you. I hated myself for giving you the power to hurt me. And in the end, I hated that I wasn’t enough for you.”
“Zach,” I reached for him, but he flinched. My stomach sank. “I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about. I didn’t tell your dad I didn’t love you.” In fact, I’d spent most of the awkward conversation defending our relationship.
“Ah, Calli, it’s nice to see you again.”
“Hi, Mr. Messiah, I just wondered if Zach was feeling better?” I said, trying not to sound too eager. I knew he didn’t particularly like me. Or rather, he didn’t like that his son liked me so much. But I hadn’t heard much from Zach all day and I wanted to make sure he was okay.
“Come in, I’ll go see how he is. But I’ll warn you now, he’s been pretty out of it all day.”
“Oh, I don’t want to be a nuisance.”
“Nonsense, come in, make yourself at home. I’ll just be a second.” He disappeared into the hall and I took a seat on one of the stools at the breakfast counter.
A couple of minutes later, he returned. “He’s still out for the count, sorry.”
My stomach sank. “Oh, okay.” I stood. “Well, I guess I’ll call him later.”
“You know, Calli. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about things for a while now.” He ran a hand over his jaw.
“You have?” My mouth went dry.
“This thing between the two of you, do I need to be worried?”
“W- worried?” I choked out. “I’m not sure I understand.”
“Zach is destined for great things, Calli. He just needs a little push in the right direction. This high school crush you have on each other, it isn’t healthy. And quite frankly, it’s a distraction he doesn’t need. The next couple of years are very important for Zach’s future.”
“Crush?” The words soured on my tongue. “It isn’t…