On The Rebound (Steinbeck U #1) - L.A. Cotton Page 0,9

went here. Declan was in a coma. And Callum had failed to tell me any of it. If I thought our sibling connection was on thin ice before, this only confirmed it was completely shattered.

A rogue tear managed to slip through, and I caught it with the pad of my thumb, swiping it away. Clutching the counter, I stared at myself in the mirror. My hair was dull and lifeless, and my eyes were dark and bleary. My collarbones stood prominent against my pale skin and I knew if I lifted the t-shirt Josie must have wrangled me into last night, my ribs and hip bones would be obvious. I’d lost weight over the last few months.

Too much.

My eyes shuttered as I inhaled another ragged breath. Part of me wanted to run. To throw my life’s belongings into my suitcase and go far, far away from here. But where would I go?

I had no one.

My friends back home had all left for college. My mom was gone. The house was sold. What little family I had left was here, in Steinbeck.

Even if they hadn’t really been family in a long time, they were still my blood. That was better than nothing, wasn’t it?

“Calli,” Josie called. “Everything okay in there?”

“Yeah.” I dried my eyes on a towel. “I won’t be long.”

“Take your time,” she replied.

Stripping out of what little clothes I had on, I turned on the shower and stepped inside, letting the water wash away the hazy memories of last night.

It was safe beneath the spray. Josie couldn’t hear me sob. And if she couldn’t hear me, she couldn’t ask more questions. Then I wouldn’t have to tell her that I wasn’t crying for myself.

I was crying for a boy I knew once.

A boy who had been my best friend in the whole world. A boy I’d wanted... a boy I’d loved.

But most of all, I was crying because that boy, the boy who had broken my heart and made me question everything I knew about love and friendship, didn’t deserve my tears.

He didn’t deserve my sympathy or heartache.

But my heart cared anyway.

And there, under the safety of the water raining down on me, my traitorous heart still cried for him.

After spending a couple of hours watching mindless TV, Josie insisted we go explore. She knew the campus pretty well, since she’d visited Joel a lot last year. We checked out the Societies Fair, collecting coupons and invitations to free taster sessions. Josie signed up to learn self-defense, but I passed. I also quickly dodged the photography society. But I did pause at the Student Community Action table. They had a ton of opportunities for people to get involved and give back.

“Interested in helping in the local community?” The girl manning the stall asked.

“Maybe.” I flicked through one of the leaflets, pausing on a project that piqued my interest. “You work with kids coping with loss?” My chest tightened, a wave of pain crashing over me.

“We do. It sounds super depressing but it’s actually one of our most rewarding projects. Is it... something you might be interested in?”

“Maybe.”

“Awesome. I can take your email and send you some more information? I’m Lydia by the way.”

“Calli.” I smiled, accepting the pen and clipboard. After scribbling down my email, I handed it back.

“Great, me or one of the other volunteers will be in touch soon.”

“Thanks.” I went to walk away, but her voice gave me pause.

“Hey, Calli, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Why that project?”

“I lost my mom earlier this year,” I admitted, the words spiking through my heart like thorns.

“Gosh, I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks.”

“I sensed... something,” she gave me a small smile, “but I wasn’t sure. Grief has a funny way of shadowing you.” I nodded, and she continued, “I lost my dad, five years ago. He was in the military. It never goes away, ya know?” Sadness washed over her.

“I’m sorry.”

She nodded too and then there was a pause. What else could you say? “I should...” I flicked my head over to where Josie was standing, waving at me.

“Of course. I’ll see you around,” she glanced at my handwriting, “Calli James.”

“Bye.”

I felt Lydia watch me as I walked over to Josie. Her words lingered, her strange observation about my grief shadowing me. I guess it wasn’t hard to see the dark circles around my eyes or the smile that didn’t quite reach them. But Josie and Joel hadn’t noticed. Maybe it was one of those things you needed to experience firsthand to know,