he reached forward to tug lightly at a lock of her white-gold hair. “I’d not let ye kill me, lass, but I might have let ye wound me, if only to—” He stopped himself abruptly, and she was glad for it.
Because she was swaying closer. “I might have let ye,” she answered and then firmly took a step back and then another, putting distance between them until she was half a dozen feet away. She whirled on her heel, running toward the stairs, not caring if he stayed inside the castle or not. She only needed to get away from him. Away from the intensity, the thickness of the air.
When she reached her chamber door, she paused, looking over her shoulder to see him still standing in the archway. One crook of her finger and she knew he’d follow her into her bedchamber, lay her down on the mattress, and show her exactly all the things she desired.
And she’d let him.
So instead of breaking her promise to herself, her vow to her country, Jenny shoved through her door, shut it firmly, and locked it tight. As she did so, she knew that she was locking herself in rather than locking him out.
Nine
Jenny rose before the sun, if you could call it rising after the sleepless night she’d endured. She wished she could simply tell her mother she was wearing trews, but instead, she got herself laced into her stays and into the wool gown with the small side hoops beneath that made her hips look wider than they already were.
“Loosen my stays a touch, Sarah, I’m feeling too confined today.” Her skin was still hot from her encounter with Toran the night before, her stomach too unsettled. Wearing anything even the least bit snug was a new kind of torture.
“Aye, my lady,” Sarah said with sleep still in her voice.
“I’m sorry for rousing ye so early.” Jenny had not been able to fall asleep after escaping Toran. She’d lain awake in bed tossing and turning until she couldn’t take it anymore. When the clock on the mantel above her hearth chimed half past four, she’d decided enough was enough and risen, though she hadn’t roused Sarah until five.
“’Tis nothing, my lady. I’ve a lot of work to do today.”
“All the same, no one likes to wake afore ’tis time.”
“What has ye waking so early?” Sarah asked.
A certain Highlander. But she wasn’t willing to tell her maid the truth. “My brother’s wagons.”
“All loosened.”
Jenny pressed a hand to her stomach and inhaled deeply. “Thank ye. Do ye think ’tis too much to hope that fashion will change in the coming weeks?”
“Perhaps ye’ll set a trend.” Sarah smiled.
“I wish I could.”
As Jenny stepped into the corridor, the rustling of skirts could be heard on the stairs. A moment later, her friend Fiona rounded the corner, flaming-red hair flying in wild wisps around her heart-shaped face.
“Fiona!” Jenny said a little too loudly, before pulling her friend into her bedchamber and shutting the door. “What are ye doing here? Were ye followed? Is aught amiss?”
Fiona hugged her tightly and then walked over to Jenny’s newly made bed and collapsed onto it, the skirts of her riding habit tangling in her legs. “I’ve a message for ye.” She tugged a letter from her sleeve and held it out to Jenny, who eagerly snatched the paper.
Jenny flopped down beside her friend. “Ye look exhausted. Have ye many more letters to deliver?”
“Yours was the last.” Fiona’s voice trailed off, her eyes closing. Despite everything she had the face of an innocent, with a smattering of freckles over the bridge of her nose.
Riding like the wind at all hours of the night to deliver messages and packages to rebel leaders took so much out of Fiona. “I’ll leave ye to sleep then.”
“I was hoping ye’d say that.”
“Aye. Rest.”
Fiona’s eyes popped open, reddened from exhaustion, but she lifted up on her elbow anyway to look at Jenny. “Not until ye tell me what’s in the message.”
Jenny looked at the back of the folded missive, stamped in a familiar seal. A. M.
She pulled her sgian dubh from her boot, the one unfashionable thing she wasn’t willing to give up, and slipped it under the wax to keep the seal intact.
Mistress J,
How are you, my dear friend? I am so very excited to report that I have finally gained approval from the powers that be to throw a party—and there will be a special guest of honor I’m certain you’ll want to