Rebel at Spruce High (Spruce Texas Romance #5) - Daryl Banner Page 0,122

kidding me?” I explode. “That was not an accident. Did you see the look on his face? On Julio’s stupid face? And the way he was like, ‘Oops,’ all nonchalantly? Toby, you don’t have to be afraid to say see-ya to these idiots.”

“I’m not afraid of them.”

“Yes, you are!”

“I’m afraid of you.”

His words knock all the air out of me. Every last word. Every last thought. Only a ringing silence in my ears and the look of his downcast, watery eyes are all I know.

Toby takes a breath, picks at something on his tunic, then attempts to meet my eyes with his. “I was … I was blinded the first time. By yogurt. In the lunch room. I didn’t see what happened. I just heard it. The crashing. The yelling. The fire alarm.” He drops his gaze again, this next part too difficult to say to my eyes. “But tonight, just now … I wasn’t blinded. I actually saw your rage. All of it. I saw how you could have ripped off Julio’s head if Tanner hadn’t stopped you …”

“Toby.”

“I know you were defending me. I’m not blaming you. It’s just that …” He closes his eyes. Then at once, an anger of his own takes him over. “Don’t you realize that’s my whole world in there? The Strongs. My friends from theatre. That’s my whole world. And I’m all for making changes and turning the town upside-down, but …” He frowns, his eyes wet with passion. “But not like that.”

My anger is gone. Every last drop of it. All that sits in me is a heavy, dark dread of what I’ve done. “Toby, I’m sorry.”

“I know. I just …” He sighs, then meets my eyes. “I just think I want to stay here.”

“Okay. So … what am I supposed to do?”

“You can go home if you want. Cool off. I can get a ride back into town from Kelsey, Tamika, Frankie, or … anyone, really.”

Anyone except me. My insides tremble. My body is hollow. I’ve never felt so insecure about something in my life. “Will I … Will I see you later?” I sound so pathetic, so desperate. “After the party? I can come back and get you, Toby. It’s no big deal. I’ll do it.”

“Let’s just call it a night, okay? I’ll see you at …” He shuts his eyes, appearing to fight off some emotion. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow, okay?”

“Toby …”

He heads back before I can say anything else, his feet softly crunching on the gravel. I watch him slip into the house with a digitalized Dracula laugh, the party having returned to normal with its music and chatter. As I stand on this gravel driveway, I can’t help but bet that every single conversation in that house is about me: the weirdo outsider, the disruptive demon, the monster, the angry city boy who has no business in their town …

The guy who doesn’t deserve to be with someone as good and pure-hearted as Toby.

The whole way home, I fight back tears, but won’t dare let a single one out. When I’m home and my parents ask what’s wrong, I don’t answer them. My bedroom door closes behind me. I shut my eyes and drop my ass to the floor, sitting with my back against the door as I hug my knees to my chest. My costume is sticky and stained. My eyes are wet with tears I refuse to cry. I doubt even drawing demon dudes tonight can save me. All I see every time I blink is the look of fear that lived in Toby’s pretty eyes …

His fear of me.

17 | VANN

I step out of the principal’s office and let the door shut softly at my back. The office lady—Becky, I think her name is—gives me a worried look. When I catch her looking, she averts her eyes right away, as if scared of me.

I guess that’s my theme lately: everyone being scared of me.

And as for adding fuel to the fire, I’m haunted by Toby’s words from this morning when I called him to ask if I should swing by his house to pick him up. “It’s okay,” he said. “I was thinking I’d walk to school. I miss walking in the mornings. Fresh air and … all that.” While he spoke, I was staring at the Dread Knight costume, which sat in a neat, organized pile in the corner of my bedroom, as if the knight himself turned into dust